Water monitor lizards are common throughout Thailand. They particularly love the wet of the lowlands and the bountiful waste of humanity. The parks, canals and drains of Bangkok, for example, produce some up to about two metres from nose to tail-tip. Lumpini Park in the city centre is famous for them. They are formidable animals but not at all dangerous if you leave them alone. The most common sight people get of them is when one noisily dashes away from you in fright.
The largest I ever saw was at least two metres long in a temple set in mangroves just outside Bangkok. I was on a raised walkway and it was on the mud below. We eyed each other a little suspiciously but it didn't move anything except its long forked tongue that occasionally lashed the air like a whip. It was familiar with having people around and was comfortable so had no intention of going anywhere. I sat within a tail's-length of it for ten minutes totally understanding why my wife calls them Komodo dragons (a similar but even larger lizard from Indonesia), then left it to its meditation.
Another close encounter happened in our home in Bangkok. Heavy dragging noises were coming from the ceiling space and listening carefully I could just hear the click of claws so guessed it was a monitor lizard dragging its tail rather than the other possibility, a python. Sticking my head up through a hatch I came face-to-face with a metre-and-a-half of lizard trying to decide whether to fight or flee. The void was about half a metre high, at least five metres wide and not built to take my weight. I had caught rodents in there before and once a feral cat had got in and raised her young so I could understand why the lizard liked it as a place to prowl. They are very good climbers and gaps in the brickwork gave it access through to the attached neighbouring houses. We looked at each other for a while with me quite grateful that I had no chance of actually catching it so didn't need to try. Shining a torch around persuaded it to leave by itself and blocking up the widest gap stopped it returning.
Now our home out in the countryside is regularly patrolled by these wonderful monsters but they stick to the garden which has a large pond of tasty fish. Most days I at least hear the plunge as one flees into the water away from me. They briefly thrash as they dive in but quickly submerge and stay there until well after I have left. I can usually see how far they get from where the trail of bubbles stops.
I love sharing the garden with such substantial wildlife. They are the biggest animals we get visiting us and a good view or sudden meeting with one is always a thrill. They are fantastic but the older ones are not particularly attractive as age drains all the colour out of their skin. The young, on the other hand, are beautifully patterned and fresh-looking. These photographs are of the youngest one I have seen which visited us yesterday. It took all my creeping skills to get close enough for photos while it hunted geckoes around our rainwater butt. It demonstrated its excellent climbing ability but the geckoes had no problem staying out of its way so after not quite being able to scale the bare wall it disappeared, I think, through a small hole leading under the house. I wouldn't be surprised if it somehow found its way into our bathroom!
In traditional Thailand where people lived in less enclosed homes, these water monitor lizards were considered bad luck because they were basically after what was important to people like their chickens and eggs. Their eating habits, which include roadkill and refuse, still puts them in the 'dirty' category so they are not welcomed but generally are tolerated.
One of the worst insults you can give anybody in Thailand is to call them a water monitor lizard using a particular one of their names. I'm not going to mention the actual word because to outsiders it feels funny and you can cause great offense by trying to say it jokingly. Judging how and when to use such an insult is too subtle and dangerous for a non-native to try. Using it is one sure way of turning a mild-mannered Thai person into a fire-breathing dragon!
