I have two sons: age 20 and age 18. It wasn't so long ago that both of them were 15 and at that age they made some truly awful decisions. On the one side there is no greater teacher than learning from mistakes. On the other side some mistakes can lead to a lifetime of grief.

Even yesterday my son got mad because his car kept slipping in a frozen driveway. I advised him that if it was so bad the car had trouble leaving home perhaps he should not be driving.

Guess what: "I know what I'm doing Dad!"
And 30 minutes later "I'm stuck at the side of the road Dad"

To which I replied "Then its a good thing you know what you are doing!". He managed to find some people to help him get out of the situation...but a tow truck would be 6hrs or longer to get him. I couldn't drive to help him. Lesson learned.

I've learned that I can't control other people, only myself. I'll keep offering help as I'm able...even if my kids make stupid mistakes. However, I'm not rescuing my kids from a learning lesson just standing beside them while they work out their own problems.

As for your cousin. It's tough luck to be a mom at 17. That happened to my sister and its a rough road. On the one side making someone elses problem your own just makes your life harder. On the other side family helps family. Tough call on that one. I don't think I would just hang up on someone who is obviously going through a tough time but again I wouldn't make her troubles my own either.

I wish her the best.