Friends are part of our lives and I doubt if making friends are part of the things we were taught while growing up. It just happens naturally because the people we call friends play significant roles in our lives. It all beats down to the saying that a human can't live alone throughout his/her existence; while journeying through life, we will definitely meet people we like and vice-versa that we can call friends.
I am terrible at making friends and it's one of the things I find very difficult to do. As a result of this, I have a few friends and this has been my way of life since I was a kid. It all started with having male siblings, people who have only male siblings can relate to this because they complete you and somehow, I didn't see the need to have friends outside my family.
Another struggle I had back then was that my family was poor and the moment you start trying to be friends with someone from an average family, they think you have a mission. Your friend's family see you as nothing and it attracts some ill-treatment that I wouldn't settle for no matter how beneficial you are to me.
While in Junior school, I had friends who we grew up together and attending the same school made us very close but the moment life took us apart, we couldn't keep up and the lack of communication ended whatever we were to each other. As I grew older, I met a lot of people who we eventually became friends but the numbers kept reducing because I suck at keeping friends.
Keeping up with friends can be sometimes exhausting and instead of trying, I just allow those who love me for who I am to remain the people I truly call friends.
A lot of people think I am being selfish and don't want to make sacrifices for the sake of friendship but that's not the case. When I call someone a friend, it means they are special to me but it doesn't mean that I need to hurt myself just to prove a point in our relationship.
I shared the story of a friend who got mad at me for not attending his sister's wedding in another state, he knew travelling wasn't my thing and the wedding would cost me about $150 back since I needed to buy Aso-Ebi and also travel out of my state. I made it clear that if it was his wedding, nothing would stop me but for his sister whom we barely communicate, sending a gift was enough.
He stopped talking to me for a while and I didn't see a reason to continue being friends with him. There are lots of instances like that and if you look around me, you will only find a few people I call friends except my family. Honestly, I am okay with having few friends because most times, having a lot of friends is just piling up figures and that's not necessary. I don't need 100 friends to be happy, I can have just 10 which would mean more than 100 to me.
Joining Hive made things different because I met people who share common goals and despite just interacting virtually, they are awesome people worth calling friends. Recently, I realized that half of the people I call friends are my virtual friends and they have been awesome people from the very first day till this minute.
I don't know how people find it very easy to make friends and I realized that people just call anyone a friend even though they aren't one. Because you helped me before or probably there is something I am benefiting from you don't make us friends, I look beyond that which makes it quite difficult for me to just call anyone my friend.
During my polytechnic days, I called a guy my classmate and he was pissed that I didn't regard him as a friend but he realized the truth after we finished our program then. I intentionally didn't reach out to him for over three months and he didn't too. When I finally did, I made him realize that he only saw me as a friend because I was helpful with assignments and without it, he wouldn't have taken me as a friend.
I am not perfect but there are things I look at before calling someone a friend and it takes time before we reach the point of calling someone a friend. I have a friend with whom we don't communicate often but he is still my friend because I know that we have each other's interests at heart.
Friendship for me is more than seeing each other every day, communicating or having a partner in crime, there are a whole lot of things I put into consideration.
