Chef Ella

in The Ink Well4 days ago

The aroma from the kitchen filled the air in the parlour. The scent of spices properly mixed and cooked permeated the nose of Samuel and his friends.

"I wish this food was for me" Harrison thought out loud. He was the biggest of the friends and the foodie of the group. If Harrison says a woman can cook, believe him and if he advised them to patronize a particular restaurant, no one argued.

"Harry,you have eaten enough for a the month" Williams said.
The others laughed half-heartedly. Willy as he was fondly called by friends was a free spirited guy and the funny one.
Harry feigned annoyance "and you have cracked enough dry jokes for the year", he said.

Ella, Samuel's girlfriend was in the kitchen preparing a dish of coconut rice which they would be taking to the hospital for Williams' brother, Michael who was hospitalized. He was the only one of the friends in a relationship.

Samuel had a weakness for tall curvy girls before he met Ella, a petite girl with an average height. She was not too pretty but could not be described as being ugly.
What she lacked in physique, she made up with skills and intellect.

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"This is for Michael, then these ones are for you guys", Ella announced when she finished cooking.
"Thanks so much our wife", Harry said, opening one flask.
"No no no no! Eat it after giving Michael his own, he needs food more than you Harry", she cautioned.
"Alright ma, but ain't you coming with us?"
"No, I will come see him later in the day, I have to check in with my supervisor first".

The guys soon left taking the food with them to the hospital but Michael began to eat his own while in the car.

"Hmmmm... This is soo tasty", Michael commented as he took the first spoon. "This food should have been brought to me all this while I have been sick, I would have been healed long time ago".
"Where's Ella, I want to thank her specially for this food".
"She said she would be coming later to see you, she has a meeting with her project supervisor". Samuel explained.

"Now I know why she is your longest relationship", Michael said.
"Why?" Samuel smiled. He already knew what Micheal's response would be, many people have previously said so too.
"Her culinary skills are exceptional even though she is not the sharpest tool in the shed"".
"Well, you are not far from the truth, I won't eat beauty" Samuel said. "But it's not just her cooking".

"What else, has to be the cooking please", the foodie interrupted.
"It's not just it, she is a really nice gurl but I will leave the story for another day".

"No please, tell the story now, we have all day", Michael encouraged Samuel to entertain them with his story.
"When I was with my last girlfriend, Mira, I could not save shit because her demands and expenses were too expensive", he began. "She couldn't even gift me anything on my birthday rather I would be the one taking her out"
"Yeah, I remember Mira too well, we all advised you to leave her then" Williams chipped in.

"Exactly. So when I met Ella towards the last days of my relationship with Mira, what was meant to be a fling entrapped me"

"Juju?" Williams asked. They all laughed.
"Of course not, she bought me that my favorite dark blue shirt, out of the blue" Samuel was intentional about stressing the sentence for them to understand. "Imagine not getting a gift from Mira after about five months despite all my spending on her, then boom, Ella is buying me an expensive shirt just a few weeks after meeting her".
"Oh! I get now. I always felt something was suspicious about your love for that shirt", Williams said.
"Yes, that was when I realized the saying that a woman that loves you will not stress you. I decided to call it off with Mira as soon as possible so as not to loose a woman that loves me"

"That's the best decision you took", Michael said as he chewed a large portion of meat.
"Why wouldn't you say so, you have seen sweet food to eat na" Samuel joked. "But for real guys, always go for someone that loves you, don't chase these girls who just wants to drain you".
"Noted boss, because you have girlfriend you feel like you can advise us. Let the singles breathe" Willy said and they all laughed.

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This is a very nice story, @chukwukajrr. You introduce interesting characters and allow us to visualize a scene. There are a lot of names, however. This even seems to have been an issue for you, in the story. Although Michael is in the hospital, you have a line where it reads: "but Michael began to eat his own while in the car". Michael can't be in the car, can he, if he is in the hospital?

This is just a small thing, but it shows how hard it might be for a reader to keep track of all the names.

Still, you have a nice knack of adding details that render the story and characters relatable.

Thank you for sharing this story. We hope to read more from you.

Oh! A mixup. Thanks for the feedback.

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This story has a light touch, which is pleasing. You manage to establish the relationship between the friends. Your dialog is effective in doing that.

This story might have been simpler (which I don't recommend), but you add complexity to it. There isn't just the narrative about a sick friend, but also a narrative about the girlfriend, the hungry friend and the friend who made bad romantic choices in the past. Except for all the names (which were a little confusing), these separate parts fit together well. That's not easy to do in a short story.

When I write a short story (not often), I'm careful about using too many names. While it may seem clear to the author, readers don't want to pay such close attention. We, as authors, have to make it easy for them to follow the narrative.

I liked your story.

I am pleased that you liked my story and also spared the time to drop your input. I am grateful.
I hope to get better.
Thank you once again.