I have been very unlucky with friendship as I find myself constantly keeping parasites as friends.
Growing up and up till my adulthood, I found myself in a lot of messy situation that originally wasn't meant to concern me but because my own type of friendship is all or nothing, I find myself constantly over buying other people's matter.
During my Uni days, I had risked being expelled or worse being arrested, when I handed my examination clearance card for forgery to my my friends who could not meet up payment of their school fees.
Soon something I had done as a selfless act to help my friends in need, quickly turned to a business venture as the particular friend that I gave the card to for forgery, went ahead and made several duplicates.
She started selling these duplicates to others who had also not paid their fees either due to the short comings of their parents, or the financing of their wayward lifestyle.
I was lucky enough that when one of my friend was caught, she did not rat me out and went ahead to just sort out the issue with money.
When I got to NYSC, at the tail end of my service year, I had gotten in a fight which ought not to had been and risked my certificate being withdrawn by the authorities.
The girl I had fought with was a roommate to my friend and was bullying her. I wasn't having it so I took up the matter and we both became enemies till there was a confrontation that led to us fighting. I had shared it here before.
Eventually, when I became a full grown adult, I started recounting all my experiences with friendship and saw that I have not been really lucky and all of them I had stuck out my neck for, none of them is by my side today. They all elevated and felt probably we are no longer of the same status.
The one that broke my heart the most was when I hit rock bottom and someone I considered a sister blanked me. I had told her what happened and after sympathizing with me, she never called or texted to know how I was coping. This is the same person I sustained several bruises and scars for because I was trying to protect her.
Image is mine
I have had my own fair share of being taken advantaged of in the name of friendship but regardless, no regrets just lessons learned. I still went on to meet amazing people and friends that turned family.
If it was a possibility to go back and give my younger self one or two advice concerning friendship, it will be to avoid problems as much as possible and let people face their challenges themselves. Even if I’d want to help, I won’t fully involve myself to make myself a target.
