Some years back, after I became a minimalist, I saw a post on Reddit asking people what their favorite part of being minimalists was, and I unconsciously muttered, “decluttering.” After scrolling through the answers, I found someone who had my answer, and under that answer, I saw a comment saying, “Girl, decluttering is just the bonus you get for being a minimalist. It’s fine if you don’t know your favorite part, but as time goes on, it’ll come to you.”
It felt like the person was talking to me, so I started actively looking for which part of my minimalist lifestyle was my favorite, and I never found the answer.
But yesterday, as I sat alone enjoying my company, the answer came to me. I had just fallen out with a friend. On a normal day, you’d never see me enjoying my own company, especially after such a situation. I would be sad, overwhelmed, and all the depressing stuff you can think of.
But then, as I sat on my couch thinking about this person, I realized that all that time through the friendship, I was carrying his cross for him. He would tell me sad things, agonizing encounters, and a lot of problems even with people, and then I would do everything to be there for him. And that’s one old habit I’m glad I no longer possess: automatically making people’s problems mine.
So I would unconsciously forget all about myself, drop my own problems and just carry his baggage. And that’s more like what happens to a woman who goes shopping and ends up with a lot of shopping bags. It’s easier to misplace her purse—the most important thing.
What really made me happy during my reflection is that, prior to the fallout, he was mean to me all the time, but I never matched his energy. And the surprising part? I wasn’t bothered, and it wasn’t even hard for me to let him go because this time, I didn’t want to be involved in any drama. I just wanted to protect my peace at all costs.
The feeling behind what I’m talking about is just priceless. And that is all because of the conscious effort I made to stop carrying people’s crosses and baggage and the decision I made to always put my mental health first each and every time.
There have been times when I’ve had to choose between going back and forth with people or protecting my peace of mind. And check this out, unlike before, when I used to compromise my peace for people in the name of how they were going through a lot, I no longer think twice before choosing me because I’ve come to understand that I am not responsible for anyone’s physical and emotional needs.
And normally, these are things I learn the hard way, either after a heartbreak or being taken for granted, but this time, it all happened because of what I said earlier; I made a conscious effort as a minimalist not to carry things I do not need.
So if I get the chance to revisit that Reddit post, I would not hesitate to tell that wise minimalist stranger that she was right. And now my favorite part about being a minimalist is how I’m focused on my peace of mind and my personal development as a person. And I no longer carry baggage, crosses of people, and never want to be involved in drama.
Images are mine
