I was not really my normal self almost throughout the day; it started yesterday. I went out with my brother to get some things, and the sun was really scorching. I drank almost two bottles of water before we got back home because I was so dehydrated. By the time we got back home, I just felt this unusual tiredness that made me not feel so great, so I took a nap. Even when I woke up, I still felt so weak, and before I knew it, it was building into something else. This is a phase I never like to get into, one where I start scolding myself for a lot of things and questioning myself about a lot of things.
I couldn't get myself to do a lot of things I had planned to do at night, but I managed to not lose my streak and still post something and also attend my duolingo class. I couldn't allow my unexplainable feelings to affect what I had worked so hard for; I just had to show up. When I finished these most important tasks of my day, I just found myself on social media, trying to distract myself from my thoughts.
From me checking reviews on the phone I want to buy soon to me scrolling Instagram reels endlessly and glued to my screen. I do hate it when this happens; I really do not like it when I get stuck with my screen doing unproductive things. It makes me feel as if I am wasting my life, and I really don't like feeling that way. I also noticed that at any slight boredom or clouded thoughts, I find myself on the street of Instagram, consuming contents. Well, I uninstalled the application today because I don't want it to become a habit.
When I woke up this morning, the feeling was still there, and I just couldn't snap out of it fully. I took a shower and felt slightly better, then I jumped on a call with my sister. It lasted for a while because we talked about different things. After this call, I felt much better, but I couldn't get myself to do something productive. I almost ended up going on Instagram again, so I just deleted the app.
Well, the good news is that I am a lot better right now, and I am in really great spirits. I feel so much like myself now. That is because I had to have a very honest and deep conversation with myself. I tried to sort out what was going on in my head and why it had affected my mood so much. Luckily for me, I was able to figure it out, and that was the beginning of my healing process. I had to talk myself out of the weird way I was feeling before it affected me further.
There is so much I want to do and achieve, and I just allow myself to be distracted or feel down. I know there will be highs and lows, but I hope I am always strong enough to put myself back on track. I will be making a to-do list tonight to structure how my day will be tomorrow, so I can make the most of it.
Thanks for reading❤️
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