I find it hard to agree with some statements or even beliefs made by certain people, and honestly, the fact that we all have our differences make interactions interesting. I have been made to understand and yes, I quite agree that women are fragile(soft) and they cry a lot because they are very emotionally weak when it comes to handling issues of life. People believe it's okay for women to cry because of the kind of being they are.
But when it comes to men, they don't cry. Like, how? Aren’t they humans with feelings too? Sometimes, I find it so funny when I hear someone saying, "Come on, be a man for your mother/sister/fiancée etc." They don't want to see them crying because they are seen as weaklings if they do. They are supposed to be stronger than women.
But that's totally wrong, and I disagree with that completely because they also need it. Come on, crying doesn't make one a weakling, right? In fact, I have once written it here that crying is therapeutic. Crying is good, and it's healthy. Let out those cries and be relieved. It's as good as that.
Crying isn’t gendered; it’s human. We all feel pain, and the body has its own way of processing what the heart carries.
"Men do not cry" has been a belief that has existed for years. And then, I used to believe such a notion too but not anymore. The day I saw my dad cry when he lost his wife, my own mother, I saw real love in his eyes. I saw the feeling of loneliness, and I knew he wouldn't be able to cope without her. He had been so close to her that they did things together, but leaving him alone with us was overwhelming for him. He cried because he wouldn't see her anymore.
I believe when a man cries, it is okay because one thing about men is that they don't show it when something is wrong. They just keep pressing further. They keep pushing until they hit the wall and they don't seem to move forward.
In fact, they are very strong, and when they cry, it doesn't mean they aren't man enough. It just means they have gotten to that stage where all they need is to let out those tears just to relieve themselves. Some of them use the tears to restrategize because after the crying comes a new way to solve a problem.
There was a time when my friends and I had this discussion. It was about a lady in our compound who had always mistreated this guy and in turn, he loved her so much, and we could see it, too. It got to a point where people thought the lady had charmed him to always be available every minute. Never was there a day this lady stressed herself over something because the guy was always there to help and support. But the day the lady told him, coldly and without care, that she wasn’t interested in the relationship, it broke the guy down and he cried.
We could see true love, but this lady wasn't seeing it, as she was already onto another guy who had money.
One thing I believe is that when a man cries because of a lady, it's because of love especially when he had sacrificed and invested a lot in such a relationship. This is also common with a lady when she gets a breakup. But coming up with the statement that a guy is weak or a dummy for crying over a lady yet when it’s about the lady, they feel it's okay, and say “Yes, she loved him so much, that was why she was pained and cried,” what happens to the man? Isn’t he a human being, too?
When a man cries, it isn’t because he isn’t strong or not a man as claimed. Let him cry. It's okay. They are also strong, just like some women who would want to keep things secret and do it all alone.
Also, I would like to disagree with the statement that a man is a dummy or a weakling when he cries because it isn't so. It doesn't make them any less strong. They also need to express their emotions and feelings.
Society has long created invisible cages around masculinity, boxing men into silence. But vulnerability is not weakness, it's strength wearing no disguise. Let the man cry. Let him heal.
This post is in response to the prompt hosted by the Hive Reachout community which is titled Popular Statement You Don't Agree With. I will be inviting @mayor-001 @emerald24 and @oluwa-tosin to participate, too.
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