Hm, no you can not become a block producer if the biggest stake holders don't support you. That is as certain as death on a delegated proof of stake blockchain.
I think showing restraint would good, just don't have vote on twenty or more out of 20+1 Blockproducers if you're a top10 whale. How about 3-5, and keep the rest of the voting power for an actual attack scenario.
But honestly, I do not want to be prescriptive. That is not my place to be at. Every setting is in place purposefully, no accidents here to be discover.