Learning is a journey. It involves a lot of hurdles on the way that most times, we want to give up, but when we keep at it, we become masters of it. It takes an individual to learn, unlearn and relearn to become better at something, but most times, when it's taking too long, we feel discouraged and want to give up.
I have heard a lot of people say that I find teaching very easy and convenient, whereas it's something they struggle with. They also say it’s always easy for me to cram but it’s something they can never do.
At the same time, I've wished I could be better at what others find easy but hard for me. That's life. Everybody can not be good at everything. That's why we have areas of what we are good at and are bad at.
But most times, it's all about the right mindset.
Just like Napoleon Hills said, “whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” This means whatever we set our minds to do and with a strong faith and the mindset that "I can do it," then it's possible. But does it mean it works for all skills or work?
I have had to struggle with a particular thing for many years, and at a point, I almost gave up, but when I realised it's something I needed, particularly for a teaching profession I’m passionate about, I have come to enjoy and love doing it.
Many years ago, it was hard to stand among 10 people to speak. An act of public speaking that when I see or watch people standing confidently in the presence of over a hundred or thousands of audiences, I wonder how they do it. But later, I realised it didn't just take them a day to do that - it was a gradual process. They began from a little space until they became grown at it due to consistent practising and intentionality.
I found it hard to stand to talk to a group of people because of my shyness and because I wasn't confident in myself. An imposter syndrome I have had to deal with. I felt it was something I wouldn't be able to do.
Though I was more comfortable with little children, but when it came to teenagers or adults, I felt like it was a mountain staring at my face, and at that time, the ground should swallow me.
This is more reason I tend to go to any event or program early before anyone starts arriving, and once I'm seated, it's until the program ends before I get up, even when I'm pressed and need to release the urine in me, no, I won't get up because I was always scared and shy.
Every time, I feel so sad and frustrated at myself because I really do need to face my fear and be able to stand among lots of people and speak, but I noticed whenever I need to do that with a few people, my heart would beat faster, my legs and hands tend to start shaking, anxiety would take over and everything I'd rehearsed would fly off. It used to hurt me but that didn't make me relent.
So, whenever I was in the room, I would prepare a short speech, rehearse, then stand in the mirror staring at myself like I was in the midst of people and would record myself talking. This is something I would do with confidence, and how I would demonstrate with my hands like someone who is waiting to be thrown questions at because I was all prepared to give them the answers. When I finished and I’d listen to my voice in the recording, I would take note of my mistakes and would repeat the same process over again.
Other times, when my friends were around, I would practice in their presence while I told them to be free to give me their comments. I kept at this for years, though it wasn't consistent, but I noticed those practices helped me.
Though I haven't heard the chance or opportunity to speak to a large audience as I’d hope but will, someday, I have spoken to teenagers in schools and a few at church and just recently, I was allowed to teach Sunday school to a few married women in the church and the feedback I got overwhelmed me.
I realized that to speak in public requires one to be well prepared, practice their delivery and know their audience. Seriously, it was something hard for me because whenever I see others standing with boldness, giving a flowing speech with no errors, I wonder how they do it. Each time, I have been tempted to ask them how they found it so easy to do it when it's a struggle for me, but I didn't. All I did was practice in my room alone, with my friends and watch videos on YouTube.
It has been a journey so far, and there are lessons I took from it. I am proud I didn't give up because I believe public speaking is a skill that will come in handy for me, which I have been seeing happening, and I'm excited to see changes and growth in it.
It made me believe that whatever we set our minds to do, and we also have strong faith, it will happen. Most importantly, the saying that, practice makes perfect has been my believing anchor.
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