The pain of missing [EN/PT]

in Hive Learners6 months ago (edited)

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Death is a natural cycle of life, but that doesn't mean it's easy to deal with. People pass through our history, leave memories, teach us. The pain of saying goodbye is deep, but for those who believe, it's not the end, just a goodbye. Over the years, if we remain, we will say goodbye to many important people and perhaps this is the worst part of living, something inevitable for which there is no preparation.

I've said goodbye to a few people in my life, but the most painful farewell was to my stepfather. He was extremely important to me, he played the role of a father that I didn't have, and although he was only in my life for a short time, he left behind many lessons that I still carry with me today.

When my mother met him, I was only ten years old and I didn't like the situation very much. I was an only child and I was very jealous of my mother. In fact, throughout the time he lived with us, our relationship was difficult, I was a more rebellious teenager than I should have been and that got in the way. But on the rare occasions when we were in harmony, he taught me, gave me advice and always looked after me.

He was simply the most intelligent person I've ever met: active, always building or planning something. He drew impressively, spoke a few languages, was a sculptor, a builder, invented incredible things and was very wise. Most of my creativity today comes from watching what he did. He was a great inspiration in my life.

My brother was born six months before he died and has the same name as his father. But my brother didn't just inherit his name, he also inherited a lot of his skills and intelligence. I looked after my brother for a long time so that my mother could work. Life was hard from the day my stepfather died. It wasn't easy to get over, and to this day it's hard to think that he's no longer here. If he were... oh, if he were, life would be so much better...

I really felt the loss of my father's presence. I never had a father present during my life, and while my stepfather was alive, I felt enormous comfort, a sense of security. Even with our disagreements, I loved that man! Today, with a different outlook than when I was a teenager, I see how important he was in my life and how I should have enjoyed those moments more. He was a father, a reference that I never had before.

I'm sad that my brother only lived with him for six months. The stories he knows about his father come from me and my mother, and we make a point of honoring all his achievements so that my brother knows how incredible his father was. We're comforted by the fact that my brother didn't just inherit his name, but also many of his skills. We see a bit of him in his son, which gives us some consolation.

You can't get over the loss of someone important in your life. What we can do is live with the pain and try to move on. Does time heal? I'm not sure, time only makes our memory weaker, but the longing doesn't get any smaller.


Credits:

Translated: Deepl
Cover: created by Canva.
Image Canva.


[PT]

A morte é um ciclo natural da vida, mas isso não significa que seja fácil de lidar. Pessoas passam pela nossa história, deixam memórias, nos ensinam. A dor do adeus é profunda, mas para aqueles que acreditam, não é o fim, apenas um até logo. Com o passar dos anos, se ainda permanecermos, nos despediremos de muitas pessoas importantes e talvez essa seja a pior parte de viver, algo inevitável para o qual não há preparação.

Já me despedi de algumas pessoas na minha vida, mas a despedida mais dolorosa foi a do meu padrasto. Ele foi extremamente importante para mim, desempenhou o papel de um pai que eu não tive, e embora tenha ficado pouco tempo na minha vida, deixou muitas lições que carrego comigo até hoje.

Quando minha mãe o conheceu, eu tinha apenas dez anos e não gostei muito da situação. Eu era filho único e tinha muito ciúmes da minha mãe. Na verdade, durante todo o tempo em que ele viveu conosco, nossa convivência foi difícil, eu era um adolescente mais rebelde do que deveria e isso atrapalhava nossa relação. Mas nas raras vezes em que estávamos em harmonia, ele me ensinava a, me dava conselhos e sempre cuidava de mim.

Ele foi simplesmente a pessoa mais inteligente que conheci até hoje: ativo, sempre construindo ou planejando algo. Desenhava de forma impressionante, falava alguns idiomas, era escultor, construtor, inventava coisas incríveis e era muito sábio. A maior parte da minha criatividade hoje vem de observar o que ele fazia. Ele foi uma grande inspiração para a minha vida.

Meu irmão nasceu seis meses antes de ele falecer e tem o mesmo nome do pai. Mas meu irmão não herdou apenas o nome, mas também boa parte de suas habilidades e inteligência. Eu cuidei do meu irmão durante muito tempo para que minha mãe pudesse trabalhar. A vida foi dura a partir do dia da morte do meu padrasto. Não foi fácil superar, e até hoje é difícil pensar que ele não está mais aqui. Se ele estivesse... ah, se estivesse, a vida seria tão melhor...

Senti muito a perda da presença paterna. Nunca tive um pai presente durante minha vida, e enquanto meu padrasto estava vivo, sentia um conforto enorme, uma segurança. Mesmo com nossas desavenças, eu amava aquele homem! Hoje, com uma visão diferente da que tinha na adolescência, vejo como ele foi importante na minha vida e como eu deveria ter aproveitado mais aqueles momentos. Ele foi um pai, uma referência que eu nunca tive antes.

Fico triste pelo meu irmão ter convivido com ele por apenas seis meses. As histórias que ele sabe sobre o pai vêm de mim e da minha mãe, e fazemos questão de honrar todos os seus feitos para que meu irmão saiba o quanto seu pai era incrível. Nos conforta o fato de que meu irmão não herdou apenas o nome, mas também muitas de suas habilidades. Vemos um pouco dele em seu filho, o que nos dá algum consolo.

Não dá para superar a perda de alguém importante em nossas vidas. O que podemos fazer é conviver com a dor e tentar seguir em frente. O tempo cura? Não tenho certeza disso, o tempo faz apenas que nossa memória fique mais fraca, mas a saudade não fica menor.


Credits:

Translated: Deepl
Cover: created by Canva.
Image Canva.


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Many times, we only appreciate what we have in retrospect. Now as adults, we get to understand why our parents did what they had to do back then, because now we know that in their shoes, we'll most likely do the same thing. Sometimes, it takes losing them to come realise this.

Exactly, our perspective changes when we look back. This is how we value and understand many things that happen in our lives. Unfortunately, many times it's already too late. Lucky are those who manage to understand this in time.

It hurts to lose someone dear to us, I know many step parents to be mean, I am surprised yours was all kind, his type are rare. I feel sorry for your little brother. That's is life, death is inevitable. We just have to learn how to live with the pains once our loved ones are gone. May his soul continue to rest in peace

Yes, unfortunately, my brother didn't get the chance to live with his father for very long, but he lives on in our memories.

Death is the worst tragedy I tell you bro. Losing someone special is tough. But their impact lives on in us, shaping who we are. Cherishing the memories of them helps, but the ache never truly fades. Condolences to everyone that loses a loved one

Yes, perhaps the essence of life is the fact that forever doesn't exist, and thus we value the small moments with the people we love more.

So true my good friend, so true

Perde algu'em com uma figura paterna 'e bem dificil! O que importa são os ensinamentos e memorias que ficam!

Exatamente, é isso que importa

Your stepfather had so many skills and also intelligent. People around these kinds of people should be lucky to inherit lots of skills from them and being creative too. He was indeed an important figure in your life who played the role of a loving father for someone whose father wasn't present in his life.

Sometimes, we don't appreciate people when we should until it is too late and reversing such time back would be impossible. May his soul continue to rest.

Yes, he was amazing and left me with many lessons, along with the longing I feel today.

Obrigado por promover a comunidade Hive-BR em suas postagens.

Vamos seguir fortalecendo a Hive

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perder alguém que amamos é muito difícil mesmo...

Sim, sempre será

A lot of people don’t even like their step fathers but it feels so good to see someone who acts like your father.
This is really amazing

Yes, he was an incredible person!

É uma história que realmente nos trás uma reflexão de que as vezes a vida é injusta em certos pontos, de como pessoas incríveis passam por tão pouco tempo por nossas vidas. Ainda bem que uma parte dele ficou viva em seu irmão.

Sim mano, ele realmente fez a diferença na minha vida, foi uma referência boa na minha vida

Legal, fico feliz por vc mano, o amor familiar é tudo o/

Some memories don't fade away with time, they somehow get stronger. I think it's a great consolation that you're little brother inherited his skills, this way he'll continue to live on and always be remembered. Death is indeed inevitable, and no amount of preparation can help us from the grief that comes with missing someone who was very important to us.

Yes, my brother is, and they are quite similar, which helps a lot to feel less lonely.