This book elicits a very strong emotion from me, so that's good. I like that it felt fast paced, hard to read due to the topic but very short in chapters.
I wonder why this book is written though? Is it to have empathy towards women? Because I failed to like Fareeda and understand her at all. I refrain from hating her because of my personal principle and it's kinda hard to maintain that principle when she is clearly portrayed as the "driver" of the household filled with abuse.
We didn't see much of the man being the source of sadness for their family, other than Adam's being absent then come back abusive. Khaled seemed off and tired most of the time. Her daily pressure comes because Fareeda always thinks about their culture; how to bear son, keep the lineage and family name alive, maintain clean reputation and so on and so forth. Adam's pressure to be the one doing everything also comes from her, not Khaled.
She's doing everything she can the way she knows, but how did she rationalize and justify it all to her culture? Losing her daughters before, and now losing Sarah, didn't that hurt her? We didn't dive deep into her thoughts at all, keeping it very much surface level of "its the way it is" and I wonder why we dont.
This was a frustrating experience but I’m glad to have read it and can now empathise better with women who seem helpless in their circumstances, unable to see a path out. It’s unfortunate really but I know it’s often a truth that’s not spoken about and perhaps also a truth that’s still existing in society today but is unheard of.
I like that it kinda ends on a happy note with Isra looking forward in life (but we readers already know with despairing clarity what is to follow). It’s sort of parallel to Deya’s path as well where she succeeds while her mum could not. The story honestly left chills in me, the casual way in which literal abuse is handled, the generational trauma, the suffocation, the desolate feeling. Ughhhhh.
I want to blame Fareedah for all of the book’s turn of events but where does that leave me anyway. She was a product of her own circumstances in a way and ruled in a way she thought to be the best. I’m glad the book forms a distinction between religion and culture although it did mesh a little sometimes. I could still see how it was more of people using religion as an excuse and having a very limited understanding of what’s actually being told. I mean for instance, the religion practically promises heaven/ protection from hell for anyone who has two daughters (or more) and treats them kindly and here we see utter and absolute ignorance which was soooo frustrating to read.
