Navigating Challenges And Choosing Wisely (#284)

in Ladies of Hive15 days ago
You are at a party, and someone is saying derogatory remarks (or negative things) about you. How would you deal with it, or what would you do?

Hello gentlemen and #ladiesofhive, welcome to a new week. I wish you a productive and beautiful outing this week.


Jossy_Justino

As humans, we do say good riddance to bad rubbish when we find ourselves in some horrible situation. My job demands management of people. Seeing to employees' welfare and career management. As a result, I have witnessed the ups and downs in this people management. I have been misunderstood and accused several times. I have been whitewashed for trying to strike a balance between employees and management, or between employees, while still standing.

However, if I am at a party and someone disrespects me by saying derogatory things, I wouldn’t want to retaliate because I hate embarrassment and can't stand exchanging words in public. I will leave that space immediately, call my friends, and ask them to intervene and resolve the issue. If they couldn’t do so, I would go away entirely from that party ground. After the party, I will make a better move to resolve the issue, for my safety. If the issue cannot be resolved immediately, I will let it slide just for the sake of my mental health.

Some time ago, in my local church, a rumour sprang up from a woman bent on denting me; she said a lot of derogatory things about me during the mid-week service in my absence. Someone within the circle reached out to me and informed me. I was deeply pained by her remarks about me. I informed my family and sought advice on how best to handle the issue. They also counseled and encouraged me.

The pain was that I assisted the woman's daughter with a job when she was desperately in need of one. Assisted her son with an internship role when he needed one. That issue broke me completely. I lost touch with assisting the brethren in my local church.

Considering the advice from my family, I reported the issue to the women's forum and escalated it to the pastor in charge of the district. He called a general meeting within the women's circle and further extended it to the general church.

After the meeting, we were called, and she was asked to apologise, and we dismissed. Though we made peace, I learnt a lot of lessons, first, to draw my boundary and always put my family first. I learnt to say no and to be careful when rendering help.

Christina @ wocintechchat.com M

At some point, the woman came again and apologised. I accepted but chose to live with the reality that men cannot be pleased, hence my charity should begin at home.

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A sad reality is that whatever we do or don't, some people will still say something about us. You did well by seeking advice from the elders and resolving the issue promptly.

!INDEED
I agree wirh you. I am living with that reality and trying not to allow naysayers and hate speech distract me from my set goals
Thank you for stopping by.
!BBH

It is amazing how an individual can totally misinterpret your decisions and conflate it into an identity and narrative without approaching you for the real facts.
As long as your reasons were sound, your 'critic' only has herself to blame.

!LADY


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It is quite amaIng. Especially in this part of the world 🌎. People tend to be dictators in others life trying to backstab or write-off persons whom they believe ia doing well.

But for me, once my conscience is clear, I choose my mental health and peace over those gosip and hate speech 💬.
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!LADY


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