Happy Mother's Day everyone! This day is something special to us mothers. Since my kids are all grown up with respective responsibilities, they opted to give me a special treat to the spa or they come home to spend some time with me and dine out somewhere or order special deliveries.
A mother's love is unconditional so they say, but it's not always the case. As far as I can remember, I've met my biological mother thrice my whole life. One was during our visit to my grandfather's house when I was in grade VI I think. We went to the island (now a tourist spot) with my aunt whom I recognized as my mom. The second time was when I was already a second-year college student and the third was during her funeral! It seems absurd, but that was it. At a young age,and with all the hardships I have encountered, I longed for a mother's love so dearly that I cried silently when I went to sleep at night. There were questions in my mind that were left unanswered: WHY? Why did my mother give birth to me just to let me suffer and be bullied by my cousins? Naturally, the first that entered in subconscious mind is hatred towards my mother! I envied my cousins who were pampered by their parents. It was like a curse when they would say I am their adopted child. I felt pity to myself. Self pity is such a bitter word. The sufferings was beyond imagination which made me utter a vendetta: That I will never part with my kids once I got married in the future so they won't experience what I've been through all those years of loneliness without a mother.
Fast forward, indeed I gave birth to five wonderful kids. I have given them my all and my everything. My husband used to console me that it was God's plan or else we wouldn't have met each other in Manila.
Since this is a tribute to all mothers, of course I count myself as one. Despite of those dark moments in my life, I was still thankful for my education and molded myself to do better for my future. I've developed to be a very protective mom to my kids and they can attest to that. I was not only protective but also a strict one!:) Together with my husband, we've provided them everything in our little ways filled with love and affection. They were the product of our love for each other. He would cook for us while I sat down holding our baby. It was his little way to cover up for the lost times when he was on board his shop. We were a perfect pair so they say. Well, it was a situation envied by many especially my in-laws! Would you believe that? It was because his attention was diverted to us. Very funny!
But there's no such thing as perfect marriage, right? Or should I say, the world out there is filled with lots of temptations especially to sailors like my hubby. He was a good provider and a good father to my kids but he was never a loyal husband to his wife.:( I fought for my rights for the sake of my growing kids. I became a martyr! Lol!
As a mother of five, I stood my ground. One thing that I was thankful for was that he had "affairs" outside my territory. Meaning he did it while he was far away from me or whenever he was overseas. My kids felt my heartaches all those years but I kept my stand, trying to be brave but I was dying inside! I've got 2 boys so I need to be strong. Though they have seen my struggles, I kept telling them not to interfere during our arguments because he's still their father and he was responsible in providing everything that we have.
Being a mother is not an easy task. With all the endurance and happenings in our lives, I prefer to deal with reminiscing the good memories we had together. Mothers always wanted the best for their children. Thinking it over, I am still grateful to my mother for giving birth to me. That was unconditional. She once told me that it was my grandfather's decision and against her will. Well, she was only 14 during that time and so helpless. At this point, all I could say is that my obligation as a mother to my kids never stopped as long as they needed me.
This is my entry #185 on mother's day.
Thank you for reaching this far.
Thanks,
