Saludos amigos de Holos & Lotus. @rosahidalgo, nos invita a reflexionar al respecto de la libertad y la maravilla de perdonar. Un tema con mucha, mucha tela qué cortar y con una gran infinidad de opiniones. Me interesó mucho participar y reflexionar también, para seguir aprendiendo y creciendo con ustedes.
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¿Qué te hiere?
¿Qué nos hiere? Antes de hablar del perdón me gustaría conversar acerca de lo que nos lastima, lo que nos hace sentir que el otro faltó y por ende no merece un perdón, o mejor dicho amerita ser perdonado para que todo vuelva a su cauce.
Cada ser humano crece influenciado por el entorno en el que vive y la forma en la que fue criado. Algunos coinciden en los valores, tradiciones y convicciones con las que sus mayores les educaron o que de alguna forma le transmitieron. Cuando las personas se interrelacionan, entran en juego todos esos aspectos de su formación y es allí donde las acciones de cada quien pueden gustarle o no al otro ser humano.
El sentido común nos dicta que hay comportamientos que no son de ningún modo aceptables cómo por ejemplo; la traición, la mentira, la infidelidad, la violencia, la humillación, el robo, el engaño, vilipendio y otras más que no me llegan a la mente en este momento. Es ante ese tipo de comportamientos que reaccionamos y nos sentimos atacados o heridos en mayor o menor grado, dependiendo de la situación y dependiendo también de quien sintamos que nos lastima o hiere.
La relación emocional que tenemos con la persona que actúa lastimándonos (o que creemos que nos lastima) marca el nivel de "dolor" o de sufrimiento que cualquier acto nos pueda causar. Para algunos no es lo mismo que un desconocido o un conocido le traicione o le engañe a que lo haga un mejor amigo, un familiar o la pareja. Allí hay una historia, un camino recorrido, que implica valores y un vínculo que de alguna forma, consideramos que se rompe, cuando ocurre la traición, la violencia, la confrontación y se cruza esa línea de respeto, amor o amistad.
Validar los sentimientos:
Aceptar nuestros sentimientos es un paso importante antes de darnos el regalo de perdonar. Más adelante les comento por qué es un regalo para nosotros el hecho de perdonar. Reconocer lo que estamos sintiendo y ponerle nombre o definirlo, nos ayuda a comprender mejor nuestra reacción ante el hecho de que nos sintamos lastimados.
Está bien, no sentirse bien, es normal, no es delito (como la canción de Karol G) A todos les hace sentir mal, que los lastimen, a nadie le gusta. Ahora bien, una vez validados los sentimientos, viene el momento de la decisión más importante, la que nos libera y nos sana.
El regalo del perdón:
Perdonar es un regalo para nosotros. Es liberarnos de lo que nos está atormentando. Es avanzar. Perdonar es recibir la presencia de la armonía en nuestras vidas.
Perdonar a una persona que forma parte de nuestros afectos es un paso muy importante que requiere de sinceridad y compromiso. ¿Compromiso a qué? A avanzar, compromiso a comprender la actuación del otro, validar sus emociones y colocar el amor como pilar.
Es importante comprender también, que perdonar no significa necesariamente recuperar la relación que se tenía con el otro. Esta relación puede cambiar y evolucionar para mejor o puede terminar y llegar hasta ahí. Lo importante es liberarte del resentimiento y del rencor. Esa liberación es un regalo para ambas partes.
Podemos perdonar sin necesidad de hablar con el otro. Es un proceso de reconocimiento personal en el que aceptamos o comprendemos el comportamiento del otro y personamos esa acción. Eso no quiere decir que estemos de acuerdo con lo que hizo, sino que reconocemos que existieron factores que lo llevaron a actuar de la forma en la que actuó. Somos libres de dejarle marchar, de bendecir su vida y seguir adelante con la nuestra sin tener que llevar la carga del rencor a cuestas.
En mi experiencia personal, he vivido un par de situaciones en las que me costó perdonar, pero cuando lo hice me sentí increíblemente mejor. Esas relaciones lastimosamente quedaron eliminadas de mis amistades, sin embargo, me siento agradecida de no sentir rencor y de que sinceramente les deseo mucha felicidad y bendiciones diarias.
Perdonar no es fácil, quizás por eso sea un tema tan profundo de conversar y de trabajar. Yo sigo aprendiendo. Una bonita forma de iniciar en la práctica del perdón, es bendecir. Bendecimos a los que sentimos que nos lastiman o han lastimado y el resentimiento se comienza a desvanecer.
Gracias @rosahidalgo por esta propuesta, me gustó mucho reflexionar al respecto.
Can you imagine feeling compassion and understanding for the one who hurt you? Can you imagine blessing and wishing the best to the one who hurt you so much? That is forgiveness.
Greetings friends of Holos & Lotus. @rosahidalgo, invites us to reflect on the freedom and wonder of forgiveness. A topic with a lot, a lot of fabric to cut and with an infinite number of opinions. I was very interested in participating and reflecting as well, to continue learning and growing with you.
What hurts you?
What hurts us? Before talking about forgiveness, I would like to talk about what hurts us, what makes us feel that the other person was wrong and therefore does not deserve forgiveness, or rather deserves to be forgiven so that everything gets back on track.
Every human being grows up influenced by the environment in which he lives and the way he was raised. Some coincide with the values, traditions and convictions with which their elders educated them or in some way transmitted to them. When people interrelate, all these aspects of their upbringing come into play and it is there where the actions of each person can be liked or disliked by the other human being.
Common sense dictates that there are behaviors that are in no way acceptable, such as betrayal, lying, infidelity, violence, humiliation, theft, deception, vilification and others that do not come to mind at the moment. It is to these types of behaviors that we react and we feel attacked or hurt to a greater or lesser degree, depending on the situation and also depending on who we feel hurts or hurts us.
The emotional relationship we have with the person who is hurting us (or who we believe is hurting us) determines the level of "pain" or suffering that any act may cause us. For some people, it is not the same for a stranger or an acquaintance to betray or cheat on them as it is for a best friend, a family member or a partner. There is a history there, a road traveled, involving values and a bond that somehow, we consider that it is broken, when betrayal, violence, confrontation occurs and that line of respect, love or friendship is crossed.
Validating feelings:
Accepting our feelings is an important step before we give ourselves the gift of forgiveness. I discuss below why it is a gift for us to forgive. Acknowledging what we are feeling and naming or defining it helps us to better understand our reaction to the fact that we feel hurt.
It's okay, not to feel good, it's normal, it's not a crime (like Karol G's song) Everyone feels bad, to be hurt, no one likes it. Now, once the feelings are validated, comes the moment of the most important decision, the one that frees us and heals us.
The gift of forgiveness:
Forgiveness is a gift for us. It is to free ourselves from what is tormenting us. It is to move forward. To forgive is to receive the presence of harmony in our lives.
Forgiving a person who is part of our affections is a very important step that requires sincerity and commitment. Commitment to what? To move forward, commitment to understand the other person's actions, validate their emotions and place love as a pillar.
It is also important to understand that forgiveness does not necessarily mean recovering the relationship you had with the other person. This relationship can change and evolve for the better or it can end and get there. The important thing is to free yourself from resentment and resentment. This liberation is a gift for both parties.
Validating feelings:
Accepting our feelings is an important step before we give ourselves the gift of forgiveness. I discuss below why it is a gift for us to forgive. Acknowledging what we are feeling and naming or defining it helps us to better understand our reaction to the fact that we feel hurt.
It's okay, not to feel good, it's normal, it's not a crime (like Karol G's song) Everyone feels bad, to be hurt, no one likes it. Now, once the feelings are validated, comes the moment of the most important decision, the one that frees us and heals us.
The gift of forgiveness:
Forgiveness is a gift for us. It is to free ourselves from what is tormenting us. It is to move forward. To forgive is to receive the presence of harmony in our lives.
Forgiving a person who is part of our affections is a very important step that requires sincerity and commitment. Commitment to what? To move forward, commitment to understand the other person's actions, validate their emotions and place love as a pillar.
It is also important to understand that forgiveness does not necessarily mean recovering the relationship you had with the other person. This relationship can change and evolve for the better or it can end and get there. The important thing is to free yourself from resentment and resentment. This liberation is a gift for both parties.
We can forgive without the need to talk to the other. It is a process of personal recognition in which we accept or understand the behavior of the other person and we personify that action. This does not mean that we agree with what he did, but that we recognize that there were factors that led him to act the way he did. We are free to let him go, to bless his life and move on with ours without having to carry the burden of resentment on our shoulders.
In my personal experience, I have had a couple of situations where I had a hard time forgiving, but when I did I felt incredibly better. Those relationships were unfortunately eliminated from my friendships, however, I am grateful that I don't hold grudges and that I sincerely wish them much happiness and blessings daily.
Forgiveness is not easy, perhaps that is why it is such a deep topic to talk about and work on. I am still learning. A nice way to begin the practice of forgiveness is to bless. We bless those we feel hurt us or have hurt us and the resentment begins to fade.
Thank you @rosahidalgo for this proposal, I really enjoyed reflecting on it.
