As I establish myself in my Thirties, it's quite strange to me that I don't have many things figured out yet by this age. I am still so often undecided in many areas that it begs for attention. It didn't bother me in my twenties because I always believed that experience comes with value and with enough experience I'll be able to figure things out easily. Unfortunately, I must be getting experience in the wrong areas because some decisions have not got any easier as a result of them.
If anything, I think the harsh reality that comes with experience can make things a bit more difficult for us to figure out. There are expectations that things go a certain way, then there is the reality on ground of things. Most of the times the expectations doesn't quite match the reality and we are forced to make adjustments. In these adjustments one thing that happens is that we become less likely to make plans with certainty. It can be a real confidence hit, especially when the deviation from an intended outcome is really much.
There's some good advice from Dr Jordan Peterson that I've tried to imbibe. While figuring out what we do want can be a struggle, the same can't be said for figuring out what we don't want. It is usually easier and that's a good place to begin. In the process of elimination there might just be the epiphany that we seek. For me it hasn't come, but it's better than nothing.
There is also the luck aspect that comes into play. Figuring out what we want isn't a guaranteed hit in the sense that it can easily be bad for us in the long term. The prayer is always to make choices that will be good for us long term, and sometimes that comes by sheer luck.