Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay Source
Living in Netherlands for the past year only amplified my tendencies not to apologise first. The culture there is known for being direct and confrontational cause all the foreigners which was very different from what I was used to back home. As a result, I found myself getting involved in more drama than ever before. Whether it was with friends, colleagues, or even strangers on the street, I always felt like conflicts were just waiting around every corner. Different nationalities, different mentalities.
Receiving an apology is a powerful and essential part of resolving any conflicts. This way both parties involved are admitting their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and move towards forgiveness and resolution.
The importance of apologizing lies in its ability to repair damaged relationships and restore trust. When someone receives an apology, it shows that the person who caused harm recognizes the impact of their actions and takes responsibility for them. This can bring a sense of closure to the hurt party and create an opportunity for healing.
And you are also addressing the needs or expectations that started the conflict in the first place. By acknowledging these underlying issues, both parties can gain a better understanding of each other's perspectives and work towards finding a solution that meets everyone's needs.
By doing all of this allows us to let go of negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and bitterness. When we hold onto grudges and refuse to forgive without receiving an apology, it only leads to further conflict and damage to our well-being but if we are open to accepting apologies, we can find emotional release and move on from what has hurt us.
But the apology is not just about saying the words "I'm sorry". Everyone can fake apology but the genuine remorse for our actions and sincerity makes this sentence powerful. A real heartfelt apology can do wonders in restoring trust between people but only if both sides accept it and it shows that we are actually valuing the person in front of us.
The lack of apology from one specific part was one of the major factors in my decision to leave. I left without receiving an apology from the girl that I was with and I thought she was a good friend, who had caused me harm. But later, I found out that another person had apologized to her on my behalf. This created confusion and left me wondering if I should still apologize or let it go.
I started wondering did he do it with good intentions and did she admit her mistake and said sorry but not to me. Maybe I don't need to apologize myself.
But if her apology was insincere or was meant to cover up her own wrongdoing in front of him than I prefer to hear the apology directly. I toke a step back and reflect on how my own actions have affected others. Even though someone else has already apologized on my behalf, I must not underestimate the power of apologizing on my own.
Sometimes, the person you hurt may need to hear a direct apology from you to truly feel validated and heard. Even if you are not guilty. It also shows that you take responsibility for your own actions and are sincerely remorseful.
Consider the nature of your relationship with the person who was harmed. If they are a close friend or family member, it may be best to apologize personally, even if someone else has already done so on your behalf. Your relationship with them is valuable, and apologizing yourself can help repair any damage caused.
But, if your relationship with them is not as significant or has already ended, it may not be necessary to apologize personally and just continue with you life. Now this sometimes is a bad decision. I decided to apologize personally... more or less... video clip on WhatsApp. I toke responsibility for my own action like she did for hers even if not directly
You can say something like "I am sorry for my part in this matter,", "I regret my actions and apologize for any harm I caused." or something like than but always be sincere.
Apologizing is a crucial step towards reconciliation, but it is equally essential to learn from our mistakes and make a conscious effort not to repeat them. Moving forward with positive actions can show that your apology was genuine and that you are committed to improving yourself.
Let our children not grow up in a terrible world. Together we can make it better. It is our destiny to
suffer from the past, to long for the future, but to forget the present.
Any unsourced images and writing are my own. Life is worth it!
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