From early on, I easily attracted folks to myself. Not in the way that I was friendly or playful. Not that. I couldn't have been any of those back then. I still cannot tell what it was about me that made people interested in my person.
UnsplashI realized and learned not so long ago that most people found me a little unapproachable. It neither was because I had a bad reputation nor things of sort, I just guessed so, cause I mostly wear a straight face. I am the very quiet, on-her-own kind of human.
Once when I was in my final year in high school, my best friend had gotten close to this guy and wanted him to be friends with me(best friend's right thingy) and he opened up to her saying he was scared of me sake of my disposition. And yes, he wasn't the only one. I can't tell what it is about me that had people scared. I usually get to find out when me and those people get to become cool. Heck! After high school, many spiled them to me. I'm not very surprised though. At the time, you could count the number of times I wore a smile. Wasn't until recently that I intentionally changed stuff. Heck! I recall far too many times I was told that one wanted to be close pals with me but was scared to approach.
Whilst on my path, I was just a shy girl who was withdrawn to herself, they probably read that as high-level confidence or whatever. The irony!
I pride myself in being one with some few good friends. I run on close-knit. And never have I been good at making friends nor do I have good social skills. Like, we could stay in close proximity for months without me even seeing the need to say hello. And even when I feel the urge to try to relate, my anxiety gets the better of me. And it definitely doesn't make things better that I really care less to make friends. I'm not one who gets excited about meeting new people. In that regard, my indifference takes front role. Being by myself has always been cool. Some days, very rarely, I want to socialize, and as they say, build a large network. But most often, I remind myself why my life is better off as is.
I think the background to my growth was instrumental to how my friends-making skill turned. I think so.
I know a lot of guys and I do not readily call all of them friends. And if asked to lay out a list of my friends, a whooping 70% go way back. My contact list is quite small but every on of my friends have stood through time.
Until now, I cannot recollect a time when there was a need to approach anyone for friendship. Most of my relationships stemmed from someone approaching me, or just by social placements and conditioning. So maybe I can say that, like-play like-play, friendship happened.
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