(Image created using an AI art generator on NightCafe)
This isn't how things were supposed to be...
I made a mistake. Easier said than done to avoid when it doesn't involve the one who holds your heart... HE made a mistake, and I attempted to forgive him for it; I desperately yearned to see the man that he could be. The man that I could have been with...
Yet, nothing was changing. Was I naive for having believed him? Perhaps... But now, 2,000 miles away from home, I had the biggest mistake of my life tucked under my belt, a negligent partner, and nothing more to show for it.
"No, we're not going back home," Scott repeated his last sentence to me aloud, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he drove down the highway. The words were nearly identical to bullets piercing my heart; there was little comparison between the two. "I'm not driving all the way back just to look like a fool."
As the tears began to cloud my eyes, a vision formed in front of me: it was a vision of a happier life.
I saw the version of myself that had stayed behind, the one who stayed in her true home. I watched as she drove up to my father's house, knocked on the door, and waited for him to answer before embracing him in a hug. While safe at home, she finally had peace, and a place to get better. She reunited with the man she left behind, the real man who would have treated her properly, and it made her see the gateway to a wonderful life.
For a moment, I was present again, back in the passenger seat of the car. Quietly, I whispered, "You already do." This time, a bit louder: "You can't MAKE me stay with you. You can't force someone to love you."
The vision of my life with Scott entered my mind. A life of misery, continuing down our path of destruction until it leads us to the grave. And what would be the point of it?...
This was one of the darkest moments of my life... But it was through this darkness that I managed to find the light -- MY light.
I found my light, and with it, the courage to start anew. I found the strength to leave a hopeless relationship, on my own, and travel 2,000 miles back home.
Thankfully, the rest of the story plays out exactly how I envisioned it. I made it back home to my father, who graciously welcomed me in. I reunited with the man of my dreams, and we have two (soon to be three 🤞) children together. There is new purpose in my life, and because of it, I have never looked back upon my old life.
