Culture they say is the total way of life of a group of people in a given environment or society and it is never the same. Cultural diversity on the other hand is greatly influenced or determined by the living conditions prevalent amongst the people, their lifestyle and their life experiences.
My friend who few years back relocated to the Western world had a cultural shock and also quite a hard time fitting in especially at his work place, at some point they thought he was homo as they branded him too touchy.
His colleagues bone of contention was that he always wants to give a handshake, always want to pat someone on the shoulder/back or give a side bro hug or a hug which is something that's not a big deal in my part of the world. But he said in the West, one has to be careful how they come in close contact with people else they tag it abuse or see you as a weirdo.
Over here at my end, you can be gisting with someone and they are hitting you as some sort of Eureka moment, but from what my friend explained I don't think that sort of gesture is welcomed over at his end.
There was a time he had a fall out with a colleague and went to apologize, they settled their differences and he was reaching out for a bro hug and the guy got really defensive warning my friend never to try such with him again, adding that he should always keep his hands to himself.
My friend said he felt really bad as he couldn't figure out what he did wrong. He related the matter with a female colleague who opened up and told him that they feel he's too touchy and might be gay. That she doesn't know what goes on where he's coming from but here at their end, people do not appreciate such gesture he's giving out as it's irritating. What he thought was an act of kindness from where he is coming from was greatly frowned upon in his new country of residence and he knew he had to adjust for harmony sake.
Individuals in societies whose way of life borders on individualism are less likely to go all out in expressing kindness unlike Individuals from the communal side of life. Also the more developed and capitalized a society get, the less likely dependent it's individual becomes and this often cuts in on kindness as everyone is left to fend for themselves and people gets too engrossed in their pursuit of individual improvement that nothing else matters.
Some how, there has to be a gap in lifestyle for kindness to strive.
Another friend in some other continent in the West said it's always baffling how you can call someone a liar in my part of the world and its seen as something to laugh about. Over at his end, its a serious offense as it means you questioning the person's integrity. Its not a joke they take lightly and might lead to litigation but here at my own end we are more subtle and kind to such situations as most times it is taken on a lighter note.
In the family unit over here at my end, a couple can be living in a one room apartment and would have to put up in that same one room with their inlaw, friends or other relatives. Sometimes even if the apartment is big and spacious enough, they still accommodate these extended families or friends and it's usually for free without the squatters contributing anything to the rent, feeding or upkeep of the running of the home. This is so because the people being accomodated are most times not in a good position in life.
The community lifestyle is quite prevalent here due to our high level of dependency and lack of opportunity to a decent earning.
Imagine my mother's shock when I told her my friend who went to the UK for her masters and lives with her sister contributes to the rent and feeding of the house. My mom was not having it as she could not fathom where the family comes in, if my friend has to pay her sister for every help the sister renders to her. I tried to explain to my mom how the standard of living over there subjects them to living that way, plus they get an opportunity to earn. I further added that an additional family member means an extra adult which is also equivalent to extra bills and not every household can comfortably afford that. My mom quickly cut in and said that's not an excuse and she won't allow any of us treat our siblings that way.
Over at the Western world you see people owning cats or snake as pets, but over here at my end these sets of animals are subjected to cruelty as they are most times associated with witchcraft and wizardry.
Like I had earlier said, the living conditions and life experiences determines human activities in a given location and these can greatly influence one's perspective of kindness like it did my friends and my mom and also with the animals mentioned.
There's this joy people derive from being accepted, that's why wherever we find ourselves we should first study, learn and imbibe the way of life of the people no matter how crude we might find it, outrightly condemning or zeroing people out will only give room for hate and hostility.
Moreso, knowing that we do not share in the same way of life and we all are different creates room for tolerance because if we are not sensitive enough to understand the motive behind the other person's action or way of life we cannot actively or effectively draw a pattern of successful relationship.
To ensure a peaceful environment, we need to be considerate and tolerate one another in the most diplomatic of ways, that's the only way kindness can strive.
MY KINDNESS JOURNAL
MONDAY
As usual, charity they say begins at home, when I was fixing the head of my bathroom tap I had mistakenly damaged, the caretaker informed the landlord about fixing my water unit that was bad because that's his responsibility, but then the landlord declined that he doesn't have the money to bear such expenses. The caretaker asked that I fix just the tap head but then, I opt in for the plumber to just fix everything because I had the required sum to cover all the cost. The caretaker kept appreciating me as he said if others could have the type of mind that I have, the burden would lessen on the landlord as the building will always be in good shape. I could feel the joy from his radiant smile and that made me happy.
TUESDAY
I was boarding a taxi for school run and it had just one space left, I saw that the other lady was in a haste also quite tensed and my daughter's school is just around the corner so I got down and asked her to take my place instead while I wait for another taxi. I could feel the confusion in the other passengers stare and the woman had this sort of relief like a burden has be taken off her as she rushed inside the taxi. It did made my day, knowing that I had done something to improve the day's activities of another person.
WEDNESDAY
The sachet water truck guy that supplies me water finally brought yesterday after being on strike for almost a week. As we were bargaining price outside, people were coming wanting to buy water but he refused selling that the water has already been prebooked. Apparently he had brought water for people who called the previous week like I did while the strike was on. Seeing how desperately others needed water, I opt in for two bags of water instead of the ten bags I was going for. I told him to give to the people on ground who needs it and whenever he's coming for supply he should bring my remaining water. He stood, looked up and shook his head as he was already overwhelmed by the people on ground he couldn't give water, some were even forcefully taking already. He looked at me and said Sister you are a good woman, thank you very much for being considerate. Again, that brought me joy.
THURSDAY
I entered a taxi and got to my destination but the driver wasn't having change, and then I left the change with him to avoid wasting our time in looking for change as there were people in the vehicle and others waiting to enter. I did not think it was fair robbing them off of their time. As the driver thanked me, a man in the vehicle asked him to give me back my money that he will pay for the both of us as the decision I took is not one you see every day. It was a very happy moment for me.
I am really glad to be a part of this challenge, please feel free to share your thoughts on kindness and cultural diversity in the comment section let's learn ❤️