I do well to separate my acquaintances from my friends but this doesn't change the fact that I have various types of friends. While some are extremists, the others in the middle and just a few are minimalists. I have seen first hand and also experienced how minimalism can not only challenge friendships but in some rare cases, improve certain friendships. Today, I'll be talking about the former: how minimalism can challenge friendships.
Minimalism , as a lifestyle, can introduce unique challenges to friendships, testing the resilience of interpersonal bonds. On the surface, minimalism is known to be about “simplifying life” and this includes reducing possessions, minimizing consumptions and focusing on what truly matters, which all seem like great and sensible things to do. However, when one friend deeply embraces minimalism while the other maintains a different approach to material and social values, tension is bound to arise.
Imagine not getting invited to favourite outings, shopping trips, dinners at trendy and expensive places or even events centered around collecting or gifting items just because you wouldn't fit in properly? There are people who fit snugly into this type of lifestyle and there are those who end up feeling overwhelmed afterwards because they prefer the quiet and low-key kind of gatherings or merely experiences that do not involve a lot of clutter. Over time, friendship between these two sets of people on the opposite sides of the spectrum starts to dwindle. This may leave both parties feeling excluded, misunderstood or even judged.
I remember how quickly I lost friendships that I thought would last forever after I decided to lean towards the minimalist in me. My values and that of my friends started misaligning. I found that I could hardly enjoy the activities they enjoyed and this always made me the ‘killjoy’. Soon enough, invitations to such activities stopped coming in and slowly, the hangouts, friendly discussions and every other thing withered away. But, the amazing thing is that I was able to set my priorities straight and along the line, I met other exceptional individuals with the same alignments as myself.
Another challenge I'd like to point out is the incessant explanations. Explaining minimalism to a materialist or to someone who isn't open to learning can be such a hard task. Because what do you mean you prefer to have a simple wardrobe when you can have all of it; the shoes, the bags and every other thing? Can you also explain why it doesn't mean you're not embracing boredom when you turn down an invitation to that entertaining, titillating and constantly stimulating party? Some minimalists may struggle to explain their lifestyle changes without seeming too critical, while some friends may hesitate to voice discomfort for fear of offending and this just makes the friendship fizzle out.
Be that as it may, with the right friends, these challenges are not insurmountable. Instead, they can provide a forum for honest discussion about values and boundaries. As long as both parties are willing to adapt without compromising core values, there would be mutual understanding. I say this because when one is willing, they can discover new ways to connect beyond possessions and material things. Looking at this from a different perspective, it only means the friendship bond would deepen because the bond wasn't created merely due to possession but through shared experiences and meaningful presence.
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