Two things I deliberately decided to do for myself and so far I feel a lot better
Stop buying items on impulse
Learning to say “no, I can't help you” or “I can't afford it”
For as long as I can remember, I have had a strong desire to help others. Whether it was a friend in need, a family member struggling, or a stranger requesting for assistance, I've always tried to lend a hand. While this trait has earned me many wonderful relationships and experiences, it's also taken a toll on my mental and emotional well-being.
I realized that while I was trying to support others, I ended up buying things I didn't need just to patronize friends or acquaintances. My home began to accumulate clutter, and my wallet started to feel the strain lol. But it wasn't just my physical space that was suffering, my emotional landscape was also becoming crowded.
I still wonder why I bought this giant steam iron.
Or this vegetable steamer.
Most of these items were still in their boxes because I didn't need them.
These are the few things I snapped before disposing them. Yes I disposed them because I don't need them and they took up so much space. Letting them go has helped me organize my home better.
I still have this box of cutlery. I already spoke with my sister in-law about and she said she wants it, so she'll pick it up the next time she comes here.
I worried about the needs of others, losing sleep and sacrificing my own needs to ensure they were taken care of. I felt guilty if I couldn't help someone, and anxious until the issue was resolved. It was as if I had taken on the weight of the world, on my shoulders and the pressure was weighing hard on me.
I found myself having so many friends, but I later came to realize that most people who claimed to be friends were actually there because of what they stood to gain. Most of them cannot do half of the things I did for them.
It got to a point where I took a loan to help someone and honestly, these people always have convincing stories to make you want to help.
But at some point, I told myself that I couldn't keep living like this. I was exhausted, stressed, and feeling drained. It was time to take a step back, reassess my priorities, and start decluttering my emotional landscape.
I began by setting boundaries. I learned to say "no" without feeling guilty, and to prioritize my own needs and desires. I stopped buying things on impulse, and instead focused on cultivating meaningful relationships and experiences.
This has helped me to save more and I'm under less pressure to render assistance when it's not convenient for me.
It's not always easy and there are still times when I feel the urge to overextend myself. But I've come to realize that taking care of myself is not selfish. It's essential. By prioritizing my own emotional wellbeing, I'm better equipped to support others in a healthy, sustainable way.
As I look around my now decluttered home, I'm reminded that the same principles apply to our emotional lives. By letting go of the unnecessary, we can create space for what truly matters: love, connection, and a deep sense of inner peace.
The moment I began to live for myself and do things at my pace and on my own terms, I was able to tap into a deeper sense of peace and contentment. I also noticed that I lost a lot of friends. Now I know who really matters. The few friends that have stayed are the real ones.
Now I'm happier, richer and prettier. I didn't realize how much my kindness was taking from me until now
