I think I told some of you all about my recent heartbreak. It’s not recent but still recent because I still miss the young man even though I really want him to go because he’s not the best for me. Also, I just want to let him go because I just want him to go so my mental health won’t be at stake.
Even though I really want him to go, I don’t know why I keep checking his posts everyday. Once I wake up in the morning and login to any of my social media pages, the first thing I do is search for his name so that I can know if he made a post, what he’s doing, his mood and so much more. Why do I keep looking for this young man? I love him but he left me and I know that we’re never coming back.
I took a nap this afternoon and when I woke up, he posted some of his throwback pictures. You know that feeling of you wanting to check your previous pictures and while doing that, you find some pictures you took with some of your exes. That’s exactly how it happened to him.
He started posting those pictures and even the ones he took with the ladies he dated but guess what, he never posted mine. This made me feel bad like I’m not someone he can be proud of. I wanted to cry but I just knew that it wasn’t worth it because if it does, he won’t even leave me in the first place.
I really felt bad for him not posting my picture or even trying to check on me. What if I’m thinking too far? There are even times when I want him to check on me so I post on my social media pages that I’m not feeling fine but he doesn’t even check them. Maybe he already muted me so that he won’t check my status all the time.
Music is my remedy and everyone knows that. I just had to bring out my earpiece and listen to some songs.
This song is titled Turn on the lights by Wizkid. Here, he just suffered from a heartbreak as well and he is just trying to plead the his ex to turn on the lights or maybe revive the relationship. He said all the things he will do to the girl if she ever accepts to be his girlfriend again.
I was like, I wouldn’t mind paying him to be my boyfriend again. This song said out all I had in my heart but guess what, I really don’t want him back because I know we can’t get married. I am just finding it difficult to leave him alone.
I also listened to Last Last by Burna boy.
As the song implies, a lot of people will be heartbroken so we just have to accept that and move on real quick. This song even made me step back on my feet.
I’m no more sad now but I’m just letting you all know how I feel. I’m surely going to find the right person for me again.
