On the other hand, when you do meet those goals, sometimes it isn't how you imagined it would be, and you end up disappointed in a different way... The Buddhists understand how fickle human nature can be, so they have adopted a go-with-the-flow lifestyle.
I read this book, hoping to possibly become more enlightened. Instead, I found myself appalled that this absolute jargon came from someone who had supposedly practiced Buddhist teachings for over 15 years...
"All human existence is characterized by suffering ... Joy as well as sorrow, both of which are fleeting and unpredictable, bound to change and pass away."
So, a quick breakdown... This man contracts encephalitis (a brain virus), in California, in the year 1999 -- basically a 1 in 1,000,000 odd. He survives! 🙏 Not only does he survive, he comes out virtually unscathed; no brain damage, no paralyzation... Again, another 1 in 1,000,000 chance. Literally all he has to do is be patient with his body and give himself time to heal.
-- And he can't do it lol 😅 This man spent a greater part of a decade learning the Buddhist way, practicing meditation, even giving seminars on the matter -- and it was all lies lol.
He barely spent any of his healing in gratitude, not any for the fact that he beat unfathomable odds or that he will make a full recovery. He has no gratitude for his wife, the one person who is there for him throughout it all. They had been married for 32 years by that point, and it took him nearly dying to realize that he loves his wife? She catches pneumonia, and his first thought is, "If she dies, who's going to take care of mee? 🥺 MEEE?! 😭" He exposes his wife to constant mood swings and breakdowns without giving her a moment's peace -- "It's over! I can't, I can't! This is my life forever now!! 😭😭"
"All fear boils down to the fear of dying, of change and loss, the ending of all that we love and cherish. ... Buddhism sees fear as a kind of delusion. But even our delusions have their purpose."
By the time he has healed enough to go on a trip with his wife, how do you think that it is spent? Him, having a meltdown over forgetting his laptop charger for hours, his wife breaking down about it, and him not realizing why she is crying lol. I feel immense pity for anyone who is married to some needy, temperamental child; cringe.
So, I did not learn anything from this ignorant, narcissistic man; if anything, he taught me that even Buddhists can be victim to innate human stupidity! 🥴 But! I did manage to take some things away from the Buddha's teachings!
There were two lessons that I was able to connect with. The first is the Buddha's story of the mustard seed.
A grieving mother approaches the Buddha with her dead baby and begs him to bring the child back to life. The Buddha tells her to go out to every house and retrieve a single mustard seed from every household that has not suffered a tragedy similar to hers.
In the end, she returns empty-handed, yet enlightened. She tells the Buddha that although her baby has passed on, she still has so much to be thankful for.
"How can we bear the suffering that each of us must endure in our lives? Because we do not have to do so alone. Grief is strong, but gratitude is stronger."
The second lesson, as strange as it sounds, is not to have goals -- to literally adopt a Zen approach to everything in life. The logic behind it is, if you are unable to meet those goals, you often end up disappointed and beat yourself up over it. On the other hand, when you do meet those goals, sometimes it isn't how you imagined it would be, and you end up disappointed in a different way...
The Buddhists understand how fickle human nature can be, so they have adopted a go-with-the-flow lifestyle.
"The Buddhists say that this process of grasping and clinging is the root of all suffering. ... The ideal state is a person without possessions, ambitions, or aspirations of any kind except for the highest wisdom. ... The goal is not to eliminate all desire but to become fully aware of the process by which it rules us."
For example, my goal is to become pregnant a fourth time. However, I don't have a set time line in mind, I try not to linger on the thought... When Aunt Flo arrives, I try to receive the news with as much positivity as I can.