Three years ago, after my cousin had her second miscarriage, I was angry at the world. Angry at everyone. I didn’t understand what was happening because, to me, she was probably on top of my list of good people, and she didn’t deserve any of the pain she was going through.
It genuinely shocked me to see her smiling all the time even with what was happening to her. At one point, she was the one who was even encouraging us that everything was going to be fine. And most times, I didn’t even want to hear any of it. “How can you tell me to relax about this issue? How can you tell me to keep smiling when you are obviously in pain all the time?”
You know what’s worse? Her in-laws. They weren’t letting her have peace. The annoying part was how they always said it. They made it seem like they weren’t pressuring her, but they still needed their grandchildren.
I think at one event, I couldn’t control myself because of the comments I was hearing from the in-laws about my cousin, so I also said, “Your son is probably the one with an issue.” Of course, my African mother made me apologize at some point, but truly the apology was definitely not from my heart. It pissed me off to see and hear them trample on my cousin just because of “fertility issues.”
So I remember somewhere in August 2024, I told her by that time next year, I would be driving my niece to a mall, and she smiled. Fast forward to this year, June, I had a call from my mom. At first I thought it was just any normal call, so I answered to tell her about my day and listen to what she had to say.
But after answering the call, I heard her singing a gospel song happily. I joined her to sing and then asked what was going on. She told me my cousin had given birth, and it wasn’t to just one baby but two. I don’t know how, but in that moment, I was just jumping as if I had won the lottery. To be honest, it was more than the lottery. My excitement knew no bounds.
And then it occurred to me that inasmuch as we say life is unfair, sometimes the replacement we receive in life after a loss is even more than the loss, only if we keep going. I couldn’t stop thinking of how brave my cousin had been all that while. Not giving up on her husband and herself. A whole lot. And in the end she got rewarded for being patient and hopeful.
I’ve said it before that giving up is even more difficult than pushing harder. “What if I push harder and don’t get what I want?” Well, at least you made an effort, right? But you know what will happen when you don’t try? Nothing. And that’s enough to haunt you forever, making you wonder what would have happened if you had tried.
Images are mine
