RE: A visit from the past

You are doing great! Just be mindful of sizing your story to fit the recommended word count. You have some amazing backstories and side plots here. They would just need a bigger canvas to explore and develop them all more fully. So, just make some adjustments depending on the word count construct within which you find yourself. You could quite easily rewrite this as a longer serial fiction, developing all the backstories and subplots individually and then pulling it all together again... same story, just far more detailed... and then post it directly to your blog or a community that allows serial fiction 🥰