Image is mine
If there's one thing I'm glad that I did this year, is to celebrate my daughter's fifth birthday at her school. We recently relocated back home and that prompted changing schools. We've been moving a lot due to my job and that means she gets to change school a lot too.
With the little experience that I have had with parenting, I know that I'm not doing her any good. Which is why I have devised other feasible means for her to not be on the move with me.
With her previous school, I had no problem with her fitting in but in her current school, it was a battle as my daughter was not accepted by her peers.
At one point, I sensed bullying, so I took it up with her class teacher. The physical bullying stopped because she no longer complained of being pushed around. But then, it graduated to verbal abuse.
One morning, as I prepared her for school, I noticed she was really unhappy so I inquired if all is well.
"My classmates said they will not play with me again because I don't rub perfume to school" my daughter responded with a teary voice.
"Do you smell offensive?" I asked her while I tucked her shirt in her skirt for school.
"No mommy."
"Then you don't need to rub perfume to school". I concluded.
"But my classmates said they will not play with me again if I don't smell perfume." My daughter defended, intensifying the teary tone in her voice.
She started crying and I wasn't pleased but I tried to keep calm because I know how important formative stages are and if I don't do it right, I might end up breaking or losing her.
I paused on dressing her up and sat her down. We had a little pep talk where I informed her as calmly as I could that she's in school to study and not to give in to peer pressure. I further told her that as long as she doesn't smell offensive, she's good to go.
Adding to all that I have said, I reminded her that she's still a baby and there's time for everything.
While I spoke to her, my mom listened and she took it upon herself to get my daughter lot's of perfume for her age.
"No grandchild of mine will be talked down upon", my mom said as she applied the perfume on my daughter's clothing. That about toned down the bullying.
However, everything took a positive turn on her 5th birthday. As the birthday got closer, I honestly didn't have plans to celebrate it but I had spoken to my partner on the first week of her birth month and he was keen on throwing her a party.
When I informed the birthday girl of her upcoming party, she was super excited and from the 1st of August to her birthday week, all she did was tell everyone that cared to listen that her birthday is coming up and it would be a blast.
As I returned from work, I had people in the neighborhood call me mama birthday girl. However, few days before the birthday, I fell ill and was admitted, this made me zero my mind on no birthday celebration.
But then, after I got discharged, I was at the office when my phone rang and it happened to be my mom. She wanted to know the arrangements I had for Amanda's (my daughter) birthday which was the following day.
I reaffirmed my stance and told her I wasn't celebrating it because I won't have the strength to go about sourcing for party materials. Thinking I was off the hook, my mom insisted I celebrate it so my daughter won't feel bad. What further motivated me to celebrate the birthday was when my mom told me how some pupils at Amanda's school ambushed her to confirm if Amanda's birthday was truly the following day and if she's really turning five.
According to my mom, not celebrating the birthday after such a confrontation will be embarrassing for my daughter. The fact that she was struggling to fit in also prompted me to muster some energy and do a last minute party shopping. I got the drinks that day and by the following day I got the cake.
I closed from work early, picked up the cake, took a cab home, picked up the drinks and then progressed to Amanda's school. I got to the school and as I entered the school compound, lot's of children came to greet and hug me. I heard them shouting Amanda, your mommy is here with your birthday cake.
I was walking to the place already set for the birthday celebration when I saw Amanda running to me from afar, screaming mommy, mommy on top of her voice. She had this really wide smile on her face that I have never seen her wear since she was born. She ran to me and grabbed me in a forceful embrace that almost sent me to the ground.
"Amanda don't fall me o, you know I'm just recovering and still very weak." I reminded her as I had a good laugh.
We proceeded to the place that has been set for the birthday. As we walked, I could hear the children murmur, "so Amanda didn't lie, it's really her birthday".
Amanda on the other hand was busy shouting in excitement, “Look at my mommy, that's my mommy. She brought cake and plenty of juice for my birthday.”
Seeing her and the children happy made me happy. I never understood the reason for her excitement because that wasn't the first birthday party we were throwing for her.
It was not until recently it all made sense. I was getting her dressed for school and she said, “mommy, I forgot to tell you that my classmates and I are now friends because I am five years old, no longer four. Even Doubra, who is six years old, is now my friend.”
I paused, added one and two together then asked her, "how old are your classmates."
"Five mommy, some of them are six, I am the last person to turn five and that's why they didn't like me because I was four year"
On hearing this revelation from her, I had lots of mixed feelings. I did not know if I should laugh about it or be angry.
