Parent's perspective

in Hive Learners10 months ago

This is a wonderful prompt to begin the week with, I'm sure Nigerian could relate well to this prompt especially the yoruba tribe. Parents at times can make you wish you are the parent and they are the child. A typical Nigerian mother will always want to exercise the right of being your mother on you and at the end , things might not work out the way they had for seen it. In my culture, it is said that "a child has no right to disobey his or her parents" ,they believe a child must do everything his or her parents wants because they are the first gods the child grew to know. And if you go against your parents, it is said that you have kicked against making heaven.

Image source

I grew up with this mentality as a yoruba lady, therefore I do take my parents advises and warnings seriously. At times their advises are not easy to follow because they might be seeing from another perspective which is totally different from yours but because they are older and your parents , they will want you to follow all they say. Mothers especially, do have this strong will over their children, fathers are sometimes lenient with a child's training but mothers are otherwise. Taking my mom as an example, she corrects with different proverbs that will definitely hit the nail on it's head. She doesn't take it easy when it comes to advises and warnings, you must follow it by all means except you want her to remind you that you are kicking against your heaven which is against God's will.

There was a time my parents warned me about the guy I was dating then, I was told some unpleasant things about him and was asked to cut off the relationship. That was a very difficult thing to do because I didn't see all that they were seeing and to me, I just felt they said all that because my dad dislikes him. "Loving eyes they say never see", that was what happened in my case, I couldn't buy into my parent's advise. I continued with the relationship and everything was going well suddenly he changed and started exhibiting all the characters my parents warned me about. I couldn't believe at first because I so much love him and breaking up the relationship is just a difficult task for me to do.

It got to a point that I couldn't take his excesses anymore and I had to let go, though it took me time to come in terms with my parent's advise but I'm glad that I followed it after all because they were right. After I broke up with him, I told my parents and my mom immediately answered me with another proverb, "what an elder sees while sitting, if a child climb to the top of the tree, he or she might not see it", she replied. I was expecting a proverb though because she do have different proverbs for different situations. In this case, my parents were right and what they foresee was true too.

When I wanted to start my clothing business, it was a bit difficult because I had no capital to start with, I had to take from a known wholesaler, add my profit then market it. It wasn't easy at all, my parents kicked against the idea and advised me to stop it to avoid running into debt. Their advise was right, any parent would not want his or her child to start his or her early years in debt and that was their fear. I wanted to give up but at a point, I had a rethink and a conviction that I can do it so I intensified in my effort. I did some graphic designs to market the wares, I did a customized nylon package, and I do organise a small giveaway for my customers. The first 6 months was as if nothing was going to happen and I began to fear that my parents might actually be right.

Amidst this feelings, I pressed forward, and things began to change gradually. My customers base increased as I get referrals from those that have transact with me and from there, the business began to grow and till today, I have not recorded any debt. In this instance, my parents were wrong, all I needed at that time was encouragement and support and not giving up on something I haven't even tried. After a year, I called them both and explained to them on the development of my business, my mom said she spoke on the experiences shared by people selling clothes on how they are being owed for months and at the end of the day , they won't get paid making then run into loss. Then I explained the strategy I'm using in running mine, and they had no choice than to accept they were wrong and support me.

Children are not in a place to correct their parents no matter how bad they behave, this is one thing my culture preaches but there is a way you can make them realise they are wrong when they were without sounding rude. A good parent-child relationship is very important, this is what many families lack these days and we are seeing the results in our society daily.

Thank you for your time and your comments will be appreciated.

Sort:  

As they say, your parents were watching the bulls outside the fence and had more perspective than you about your boyfriend's behavior, sometimes love clouds our minds and blocks us. Thank goodness you realized that you were in a relationship that was inconvenient for you. With effort you managed to start your own business, although your parents advised you not to do it to protect yourself, however each one of us has a way of thinking and it is good from time to time to take a risk.

I took the risk in the business aspect and it worked for me,I'm glad I opt out of the relationship.

Truly, what an elder sees from a far, a child can not see even if he or she climbs the tallest tree. Our parents have being through so many things in life, they have gathered experiences from places you never imagined, when they tell you something, most times they are not just saying it, they know what they have seen.

I'm glad the relationship didnt harm you much before you ended it. I just hope you learned 🙃

On the other hand, parents also err, their experiences doesn't cover everything in life, there are times they take certain decisions or make certain rules that may end up becoming a barrier to us.

Thanks for sharing this with us, ife mi🥰❤️

Lolz thanks for reading bby

You are welcome ife

It’s good to stick to our parent advise but sometimes it’s annoying when you see friends that succeed in certain things just because they disobeyed their parents advise and decide to take a risk.
Been a victim of such occurrence forced me to have a second thoughts on every advise as I grow older. Well, May God help us

Yay! 🤗
Your content has been boosted with Ecency Points, by @emreal.
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!

Thank you so much

Of a truth there are some advices which parents give that if one flaunts them will end up in regrets. Sometimes too their orders may not actually be right.
All in all parents must be parents and they will lord their advices over the children

#dreemerforlife

Exactly, they always want to lord their advises over their children which is not that good.but we can't correct them, they are our parents after all

Just like my Grandma who keeps warning me of not marrying from an igbo tribe because she assumes all igbos do eat human beings. When I asked why she said so, mama was referring me to the days she was still a youth 😀😀 That was when I knew she was wrong because life isn't the way it was during her time. Even though there are some people who do that, it isn't all of them. Lol

If you don't comply with their advices, especially the mothers, they will start reminding you that it was their breast you sucked from 🤣🤣
Though our parents are mostly right, they can be wrong too because no one knows it all.
#dreemport

Lolz exactly, that breast thing always put me off and I do remind my mom she told me I didn't suck breast.

Hehehe 😀

Lolz

How wonderful that your parents were able to provide such wise guidance and perspective. One thing everyone has to realise is that parents are learning on the job so to speak, but they do have years of life experience behind them to fall back on. They share and guide based on that. Not all risks they caution against will come to fruition, but I feel it is always best to receive the advice humbly and keep it in mind when applying oneself to the situation at hand.

I found your post in Dreemport this evening.

#dreemerforlife

Thanks for reading. Our parents are our angels here on Earth and I'm grateful I have them .