I have seen parents say that an orange tree cannot bear pawpaw fruits and the like. This kind of lament is usually heard when a child starts behaving in a way contrary to his or her family values, contrary to the teachings of his parents, and completely different and in a negative way. You will hear words like this: I was never a thief; your mother wasn't either, so where did you learn this one from? Why do you want to bring shame to this family? And many more words like this. I have heard it a lot of times while growing up from the mouths of many parents.
The thing is that no one is born to be good or bad. The character of a child is not about bloodlines in any way. That you are a good person is not a guarantee that you will be born a child who will be as nice as you are. We have seen very nice people who came from a dysfunctional home, a home filled with abuse of all kinds, but yet, they are good; the character of such a parent didn't shape the child's character . We have also seen children brought up in a very rough environment, an environment filled with cultists, prostitutes, and all manner of evils, yet some children grow up in such an environment and choose to be different even with all their negative experiences growing up.
On the other hand, we have seen bad people in our society causing nuisance, and when you trace their homes, you will be shocked to see that they grew up in a loving home. And you can force yourself to ask, what went wrong? Why is he behaving unlike his parents? And many more questions—it happens. I know of an Anglican Reverend in my community whose first son is so wayward, yet he came from a godly family, a Christian and God-fearing home, but that nice environment didn't make him a good person; instead, he grew to choose his path of life, he made certain decisions that shaped his character, and he is living by them to date.
There is no blueprint for how not to have a bad child. Every child is born innocent into a home, and when a child starts growing, he will first learn from his immediate family. His character is first molded by the people around him, and that's why parents are the first model for their children. They learn fast from their homes and imitate whatever is at their disposal easily at that early age. For instance, there is this friend of mine. I usually speak pidgin English over the phone, and somehow my kids were overhearing me and learning along. I didn't know, but what shocked me was I started hearing them communicate with each other through pidgin, and it got me irritated, and I shouted at them. Behold, they replied that they actually learned it from me, and I was speechless. This is to say that children can learn a lot from home first before the environment and other factors begin to contribute and shape their character as well.
But then, as we get older, we become more accountable to ourselves. Our upbringing wouldn't matter much per se, even though it's important to lay a good foundation for your child, but their choices and decisions in life form their major character. There is a limit to what anyone can control in the life of an adult.
Life is a choice! You can choose to be good or bad!
All images were taken from canva
