Wow... you have two BIG hard lessons from this...
And the thing is - you knew in both cases what to be wary about... but you were led away from it by not wanting to offend the people you love.
But hopefully you know this now: if they love you back, they will welcome your testing!!! They would actually enforce it with you!!! Because they want what's best for you also.
So sorry that you had such bad experiences in this.
My husband always quotes Michael Jordan when he's talking about friendship and business. He said "You guys are my boys. But business is business." LOLOL so true!!!