The topic of forgiveness is a popular one, especially among people of faith. We're encouraged and admonished to learn to forgive as instructed by God. As one of the Christian faith, there's even a passage in the Bible that admonishes us to love our enemies. The discourse about forgiveness has yet been a necessary one that needs to be preached, taught, encouraged and admonished on. There's a lot of weight and burden that not doing so holds.
Beyond the spiritual and religious aspect or approach to the matter of forgiveness, I believe that even secular ideals and knowledge agree that forgiveness is an important discourse, and the need to learn to forgive should be something everyone imbibes. Generally, we can agree that this is important and it should be encouraged, at least for the sake of the hurt person, if not for anything else. That's why it binds on us all to learn to do that.
However, I won't be too blind to reality to fail to mention how this is one of the most difficult things, easier said than done. Many things are easier said than done. The motivation talks we listen to, the goals we set to achieve with the strategies, the future we imagine and more of all that are easier said than done things. But that of forgiveness is one of the hardest situations one could ever face. Hurt is really painful, and letting go is hard.
It's not easy to let go. So, the best way we think we can manage and deal with it is by keeping malice or taking revenge. This is the default disposition of our hearts and minds, aided by the fact that we're emotional beings. Our emotions are at stake in such a case, but it's what is considered the negative aspects that gain expression. Of course, you can't be happy when hurt and in pain. As we would rejoice when happy, we do otherwise when hurt.
Unforgiveness is the result in most cases. The painful thing, however, is that we don't find that satisfaction when we choose to harbour unforgiveness. This is not just me speaking as a Christian who has been taught the need to forgive as instructed by God, but one who has seen the need and has felt the burden of unforgiveness. I've not really harboured much of that. Sometimes it's for a brief period, but I can tell it hurts to not forgive.
At least the experiences of others speak to this concern. People have harboured unforgiveness for years, remaining trapped in their own prison, lacking peace and joy. But when they chose forgiveness, all of that changed. Forgiveness isn't just a person doing their offender good, who might have sought forgiveness or not, but it's much more good for the offended because they refuse to remain in that pain, nor give the offender power over their peace and joy.
I must also say that some offences are hard to forgive. Looking at some things people do, and even not as the offended, I get caught thinking how hard it would be to forgive in such situations. The good thing is, the law is there to convict offenders, making them pay and serve for the hurt one feels; in cases that involve the law. It might be a sham today, but it's meant to do that. As much as we can, we should learn to forgive, for our peace at least.
