Hello hivians, a happy weekend to you all.
The topic for the april edition of thinkers corner challenge is a self-examinating and self-searching one. You need to really look deep within before making the contrasts because the answer to the puzzle might shock even yourself.
Do you know yourself well enough? What are the things that bother you about the way you live your life? How do you feel when dealing with people that have these same attributes?
Can I reall say I know myself very well? Can I vouch that I'm clear on my character attributes 100%? I kind of doubt that as I believe that we dont know ourselves in totality. We can infer that this is the personality we have based on our behavioural tendencies over time and that might be correct at that time but moving forward coupled with a change of circumstances from favourable to unfavourable, there's a possibility for change.
I'm very goal oriented yet shy and anti-social plus I'm fun to be with. I believe these snippets give an inkling into my personality traits.
The things that do bother me about the way I live my life are quite complex. I'm overly compassionate, what you would call, too kind to a fault. As long as someone I know is in need and I'm aware of it, I will go extra length to help that person out.... sometimes even landing myself in trouble.
Years ago I helped a colleague whom I was close to apply for a loan. He had beem pleading with me and asking for financial assistance but I was not buoyant at the time. His consistent pleading melted my heart and I thought of a way to help him get the money but the only way was a loan. He promised to pay immediately at a set time and I went ahead to acquire the loan for him from the office. Long story short, he didn't keep his promise and I ended up paying the loan.
You would think that with such an experience that my heart would harden but the reverse is the case. Someone close to me should not just come crying for assistance as my compassion would overflow like a stream on high tide, ready to lighten every burden.
Then there's this other thing that also bothers me and that's my rage. Certain things piss me off and once I'm pissed, I begin to see red. I would flare up in anger and say what's on my mind without regard for the other person's feelings. The funny thing is I'm a fun person to be around with but when I'm pissed, the temperature around me drops to minus zero degree Celsius. One moment I could laughing and playing and the next minute I'm spitting fire for a wrong done to me.
These extremes have baffled my relatives and friends but I have gladly begun to work on my temperament and I can say for a fact that positive changes are already manifesting.
When I come across someone who is also hot tempered, I smile knowing that I once *walked that plank". I quickly do my best to diffuse the situation and calm such a person down. Being on the receiving end of rage is not palatable at all and this has clearly shown me all the more reason why I need to do away with that emotion.
Coming across overly compassionate people kind of reflects my gullibility to me. What I do most times is not to go to them for assistance as I know that they would want to act like me and go overboard to help.
Truth is this side of me has been exploited a lot but for a while now, I have been imbibing discipline and self-control. These virtues help me sift out the wheat from the chaff when they come seeking my help especially financially.
I'm not there yet but I'm definitely better than who I was years back. I'm still learning how to be the better version of me.
Thanks to @kenechukwu97 for the amazing prompt.
Thank you all for reading..shalom
Images are mine.