Greetings to my wonderful @LadiesofHive and Hiveians! It's me again, Iris. This week contest has been full of reflective journeys, thanks to @cautiva-30 for the deep and orginal prompt. Shout out to my friend @lucretia who invited me to join this week LOH contest as well. Today I want to answer the second question:
|* We often hear, “It’s for your own good,” — but only you know what truly feels right for you. It’s your life, your path, and your experience. You are the one who leads it. So, ask yourself: What dreams do you have now, and do you like the life you’re living?*
Honestly, I have been thinking about this question the whole week, especially the second part of the question: Do I like the live I am living now?
I've been doing the common pathways of life that is expected by my family until now. I did well in my study, I graduated with honor in my college, got a stable job and stable raise of incomes through various job positions as well. I got married then had a kid and lead a pretty standard life until now. I was so grateful that my family was supportive and I had a wonderful son that became the love of my life.
As the oldest kid, I was expected to be the example to my younger siblings, so the phrase "It's for your own good" was something that I always hear throughout my life. Since I was so used to being responsible, I was often trusted as the one who 'lead' in my community as well. In the college I was always taking a part as a leader or the committee members of my campus organization. Of course it was fun, I learned a lot and experienced many precious things as well. However, I always had this doubt in my head, did I do it right? Am I really a good leader?
Right away after I graduated, I was accepted as a personal assistant to director in a foreign company. My family was very proud but that was when the illusion shattered. I didn't do well at all -lol. I was getting so much criticism from my boss and I realized that perhaps I was just lucky before and having a real responsibility with a real life risk stressed me out.
Then I decided to quit although my family said that it might not be wise. I didn't had a fancy position on my second job, only become a part of marketing team in small company but it was when I found my calling. I realized that I am happier to be the supporting team. I enjoyed the fame and glory under the spotlight before but just realized that I was more content became a part of the credit scene instead.
Vaguely I remembered that once in my college days, we had to perform in a Dies Natalis and usually I was pointed as performer, some circumstances had me take a role as music director instead. And yeah, I really enjoyed my part at that time, to be able to enjoy the show without worrying about stage nerve. So thought that perhaps that's my role in this world. To be the one who is clapping and whistling from the crowd.
So that's how I lead my life now. I want to be the supporters, to be someone who my friends can call at 2AM without hesitation, to always be there when big moments happened. Although, in my own case, I will prefer something more quiter and intimate rather than a big celebration. My friends and family often questioned my preference, even lead to a misunderstanding. However, I think this is what I need to lead a life that I can really enjoy.
So do I happy with my life now? Pretty much I am. But do I feel content? Sadly, I couldn't say yes most of the time. I still have a lot of doubt, too much overthinking, and unsatisfied with my situation. And that's my dream for now; to be genuinely content with my life. It might sound simple but so hard to achieve since I am still lacking so much. I just hope that I can really like all version of myself in all the roles I am playing now, as a career women, a wife, a mother, a daughter, an older sister and many more.
Reading the entries of this week is really inspiring for me, and I am glad that many of you have found your passion and lead a good life. Hopefully more ladies in this world could achieve their dream despite the challenges and boundaries.
Thank you for stopping by and reading my post,and of course for the supporters of this contest with their generous prizes. Sincerely I wish you a happy weekend. See you around, Ladies!
~banner was made using Canva, photos are all properties of mine
