Growing up, anytime I happened to be walking with a group of people, I often found that I’d be ahead of the group while the rest would be behind me. In my mind, I never thought anything of it. It was just a normal thing that tended to occur.
It first started with my childhood friends, Chioma, Adaobi, and Chidera. We would be taking a casual stroll and talking, and I would subconsciously zone out of the conversation. And then all of a sudden I would see myself walking in front of them while they followed behind.
They never seemed to mind; I guess everyone just took it as something normal that happened with me. The conversation would go on, just without me this time. And there was no malicious intent behind it.
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Everything seemed cool, until one day I decided to stroll with my sister. We had just left our compound and were heading to the street. I kid you not, we were merely two minutes in when she asked, “Where are you running to?”.
I was confused because what did she mean by that question. We were literally walking in the same pace; I was just a little bit in front of her. So I asked her what the problem was. And then she replied with
“I thought we came out for a stroll. Did you plan to go somewhere?”
I said no, that I was enjoying our stroll. So she asked why I was running as if I were rushing to get somewhere before they closed. That was when I actually paused to assess the situation. It was just the both of us on the walk, and she was talking to me. Of course I was responding, but we weren’t at the same pace, so it felt like I wasn’t listening.
It then dawned on me that I actually did walk fast. This got me intrigued, and I began to assess all the times I had gone out with people. These people never complained about it but probably thought I was being rude (which I get why they would think that).
We eventually strolled to our satisfaction and found our way home. But subsequently, while on walks with friends, I always made it a point to catch myself when I started to drift forward or to zone out from conversations.
It always began with my social battery dying out. I’m an introvert, so it is usually common for us to get tired of talking or listening mid-conversation. So when this happens, that’s when I mentally begin to check out and my mind wanders to other areas.
I might get distracted by objects in my surroundings and decide to take a closer look, resulting in me moving forward to get a better view. After I decided to be more intentional about participating in conversations and to walk in line with others, my pace generally slowed down.
I also catch myself when I take walks alone. Another thing that kick-started my efforts to slow down my pace was when I got really into femininity. I learnt that a feminine woman walked slowly and steadily, with her hips gyrating and moving to a coordinated flow.
Right now I can’t say I’ve stopped walking so quickly, but I will say I am more aware of my pace.
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