That Underrated Influence

Yesterday, I wrote about my approach to adversity, and today an adversity came knocking at my door. And as I dealt with it, all that occurred to me were the people around me. I’ve heard a lot of times that the people around you could make or break you, but I never really thought it was that serious until today.

So my circle of friends is really small, or I could just go ahead and say triangle because they are just three. And the one thing they all possess is the ability to face adversity. They handle problems so well. I remember how some time ago, we would be in trouble, and then I would start crying because that was the only thing that came to mind, and then one of them would say, “Kindly let us know how those tears will fix the problem when you are done.”

It was funny then, but now that I think of it, my friend was just trying to say crying doesn’t solve anything in life, which is true. I mean no, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry when you feel like. Of course you should always know that however you feel is very valid, and you can laugh or cry anytime you want to, but if you want to solve a problem, crying isn’t part of the process.

So back to my triangle of friends, yeah? I eventually began to learn the need to handle problems well around them, and the shocking part is how this was very unconscious. I didn’t intentionally put in the effort to handle the problems I faced well; I just found myself doing it because I saw my friends do it.

And most times, I would unconsciously ask myself, what would he do? What would she do? And before realizing it, I was actually working on solving the problem other than just crying and asking the “whys.”

This has helped me many times more than I could actually count. And I find it really cool that instead of being so sad and bothered about an issue like I used to be years ago, I now rather accept it and fix it. If I am like this today, it’s all thanks to the friends I have. And I’m sad it took me this long to realize, but I’m still glad I did.

The people around us influence us in more ways than we can even imagine, and for me, I believe the impacts we mostly take longer in realizing are the significant ones. I know we can never force the people around us to have our best interest at heart, or even worse, know if they do. But what we can focus on is whether each action of theirs brings us closer to becoming a better version of ourselves.