Some time ago, I came across a story on social media that initially seemed amusing but as I think about it now, I realize that it's far from being funny. It's just way ridiculous that someone would claim ownership of another just because they're in a romantic relationship.
Here's the story.
A couple, facing marital issues, decided to separate and equally divide their belongings. The wife was asked to go pick first and she began collecting the items she acquired, leaving the house nearly empty.
When it was the man's turn to choose what belongs to him, he reached for the woman, claiming she was his property because he had "married - rather acquired her with his money." And because of this, everything else the woman acquired automatically belongs to him too.
And that was how the separation case ended and they lived together afterwards.
This story might have been told on social media just for the likes and fun of it, but I tell you, it clearly plays out in some relationships. The idea that a partner can be owned or possessed simply because they're in a relationship or due to financial transactions during marriage is not only harmful but sickening. What a warped mentality! The mere thought of this irks me.
But how did we even get here? Like how can a human claim ownership of another human? And why would someone even accept to be owned. If this isn't inanity, I wonder what is.
Claiming ownership of a partner is nothing but possessiveness, which if not checked can lead to toxic behaviors, such as jealousy, manipulation or even physical abuse.
Well, I think this belief that one's partner belongs to them or that they own them could stem from feelings of insecurity, lack self esteem or even fear of losing their partner. It could also be the desire to be in control.
Furthermore, it could be due to cultural or societal influences. Some societal norms, cultural or family values may promote the idea that a partner is a possession or a belonging.
Emotional dependence could also be a pointer to this behaviour. When someone is emotionally dependent on their partner, a time will come when they'll believe that their partner is now to be owned.
It's high time people accepted that partners are humans like them - individuals with their own rights, freedom and the power to make choices and act independently, without external control. And as such, be valued and treated with respect, and not see them as a commodity to be owned.
With my submission on the issue so far, there's no guessing if I'd be in a relationship with someone who thinks they own me. No way, I'd be damned to try that. In fact, if my partner tries as much as think, act or say it, then I'm walking, never looking back to preserve my dignity and self worth. I won't trade my mental health and general wellbeing on the altar of a relationship that doesn't value me as a woman.
Finally, just as I won't accept the idea of being owned, same way I wouldn't think or even attempt owning my partner.
Partners do not own each other.
Relationships should be built on mutual respect, trust, equality, communication, and a deep understanding of each other's boundaries and needs. Anything short of this is far from being a relationship and shouldn't be encouraged.
This post is a response to the QC Community Contest #157.
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