I always get asked what I'm working on.
Next Business Idea is or the next goal I'm working toward.
Very few people ask me what I am hauling.
I know the emotion I find it hardest to discuss if I'm being honest is not sadness or anger.
It's disappointment.
Not in others but in myself.
I'm someone who dreams big. I enjoy creating, planning for the goals, and believing that tomorrow is going to be better than today. In the eyes of the outside, it appears that's an exciting deal. However, what is not always evident is the time when things don't go their way.
An unsuccessful project.
A chance that goes by.
A goal I would have hoped to have by now but I haven't.
I don't want to get very specific about those times.
I have come to find that a lot of us feel compelled to make progress at all times. Social media doesn't do a bit of help. Of course we share our successes more than our failures and after a time, you may find you're just trying to work things out and everyone else is moving ahead while you try to figure it out.
I choose not to share these feelings for a long time mostly because I didn't want people to think I was becoming less confident and also because I felt I needed to do it all myself.
But I learnt a very vital lesson this year, and it is to not push emotions aside because they never go away.
Being open with people who are close to me particularly with my partner, my family, and a few trusted friends has taught me that it is not a sign of weakness to open up because truthfully some of the best discussions I've ever had started with this simple sentence “Things have been difficult for me lately”
I can't say it's easy for me, Naturally I'm more at ease with solving problems than I am with expressing how they make me feel, but I am finding that my vulnerability is not a disability.
It gives a more authentic quality to my relationships.
I realized that It's trust that opens me up to myself and to others.
When someone is listening and not judging.
Understand that not every response will be correct and that it is not necessary to know all the answers before speaking and Knowing that I can be both ambitious and human at the same time, I've learned that strength is not doing everything without complaining.
Sometimes, the strength comes from just letting someone know that you're carrying one.
Maybe that's a lesson I'm still learning; not putting away every challenge with another hectic day or another uncompleted task.
But the best relationships don't happen by sharing successes only.
They are created by believing in others with the pieces of our story that don't necessarily look successful.
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