@saffisara got me into a deep reflection this morning. I actually shed a few tears and giggled at the same time while going down memory lane as I wrote this down.
If Life had a customer-care line, I would have called them since— not to shout, or complain, but to calmly request a few second-chance upgrades. First, I would ask for an express ticket to spend more time with my dad. Not the "blink-and-he's-gone" kind of time, but the full premium package: healthy, strong, telling jokes that make no sense, and laughing with me until my ribs protest. If I could rewind that chapter, even for one day, I would treat it like a national holiday.
Also, I would ask for a second chance to appreciate the small moments I once hurried past—the conversations, the quiet evenings, even the ordinary days that later turned out to be golden. Honestly, If life offered refunds for missed moments, I'd be first in line because I miss my dad every day.
And lastly, I'd request a second chance to believe in myself earlier. Imagine how far I'd have gone by now if I started hyping myself on time. But no worries—better late than never.
THE SECOND QUESTION:
MY AGE AND I ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE
Honestly, my age and I are not on the same page at all. People look at me and expect someone who fits neatly into the category of "normal age behavior," but my inner self is running a completely different program. Sometimes I feel slightly older—not old in the "where are my glasses" sense, even though I wear glasses for a good reason, but older in the "life has taught me a syllabus that was not in the textbook" kind of way. You know those experiences that automatically add ten invisible years to your mindset? Yes, I have collected a few.
At the same time, I still have a very energetic, dramatic, curious side. I can actually switch from wise philosopher to excited child in just three seconds. One minute I'm offering advice like a seventy-year-old lady, and the next minute, I'm hunting for snacks or laughing at something extremely unnecessary. That youthful spark had refused to retire.
So do I feel older or younger than my actual age? I think I sit comfortably in the middle —a delightful confusion of maturity and mischief. If my age were a person, we would constantly argue, because I'm never acting exactly how it expects. But honestly, I love this combination. It keeps life interesting, unpredictable, and fun.
Thank you @saffisara for the reflection.🤗
SEE YOU SOON WITH MORE REFLECTIONS AND EXPERIENCES.
