Every new year comes with the familiar sensation, there's always the need to restart, the need to make new resolutions, the need to become a completely new person simply because the calendar is turning. We create lists of all the things we want to accomplish. We promise ourselves the world. We even say things like, “This is my year, this year will be different” often at the beginning of the year but towards the end it doesn't seem to be “my year” anymore. And although I like the hope of a new year, I’ve discovered something about myself. I do not like waiting for the new year.
Life does not wait until January. Growth does not happen only once a year. If a thing has to be changed, then why wait?
Beautiful resolutions to me mean little declarations that we make in the midst of our everyday lives, like the decision to try again when we have failed, the decision to show up even when our body isn't at ease, the decision to rest when we're tired, or the decision to let go of what no longer works for us. They're imperfect and at times messy but are very much authentic.
For this year, my goals “to do” list doesn’t entail trying to get it all together and fix everyone and everything around me. It just has to do with making the right choices, to choose peace over problems, to conserve my energy and invest it where it truly counts or matters, to say “no” with conviction and “yes” with courage.
I’m going to work on being kinder to myself. I’m going to stop beating myself up for not being able to move quickly or have my act together. Life is not a race, and all journeys are different. I would like to progress at my own pace, even if it is slow or subdued.
Another thing is consistency,showing up even when the motivation is not there. Some days the movement will feel like a big deal, just as it has for the past few days, and some days the movement will just feel like not quitting. The truth is, all of this is fine. I am working on finding the joy in the small steps because they will still move me.
I also want to listen more, to my heart. What do I feel is right and what do I feel is sucking the life out of me? What habits, people, and patterns need to be released from my life so that I can grow, and growth, at times, means releasing, rather than accumulating.
And above all, I’m reminding myself that I don’t need to wait for the start of the New Year to begin again, because every morning is already a brand-new chance. Every moment of waking up with the knowledge of what’s going on around and inside me is already an opportunity to do better.
And yes, I am thankful for a new year and a new hope. But I am more thankful for the knowledge that change is available any time. If you want to grow or need that change, it's now. Any time you want to begin again is not something that needs an announcement, it's all about intentionality.
