I need to take a moment to give thanks. Somebody (or somebodies) have truly been looking out for me this past month.
There comes a point in one's life when they must surrender their strength. After a long period of struggle, one may wish to continue no longer. To simplify: it is a transitional period into rest. And fight as one might, rest cannot be achieved if one's guard is up.
This is the transition that I had experienced. After months upon months of giving it my all, I finally caved and decided to let someone else take over.
I am eternally grateful that I did.
After years of trying to work with my body on weight gain, I finally decided to LISTEN to it. Not what anyone else said -- I decided to listen to my OWN body. Despite the fact that I had been hearing since 2019 that it "couldn't be your thyroid, your levels came back normal," I decided to trust that after 30 years of living in this body, I knew myself better than anyone else.
At 110 lbs. for 2 consecutive years, I was running out of options... and time...
I went with my instinct of overactive thyroid. The solution: B vitamins to metabolize energy. I immediately started taking 100mg doses of all 8 B vitamins. Within days, my neck stopped throbbing. My lymph nodes were no longer under duress. I didn't feel exhausted after being awake for 3 hours.
Within a month and a half of continuous use, I have gained 10 lbs. From 2 years of yielding no results, regardless of what I did, to gaining 10 lbs. in only 90 days. I am beyond grateful 🙏 I pray that I have provided an adequate home for another baby, and I pray that God blesses us with one soon! 🙏 (I have been unable to get pregnant for one year.)
My approach to rest had yielded wonderful results. I decided to take what I had learned and apply it to other areas of my life.
I was struggling with Hive. I was giving it my all, yet receiving few eyes on it. I was unable to add value to my account. Ultimately, I was just feeling very sorry for myself.
I had to sit back and remind myself... Hive is a community of giving and receiving -- and I can only get what I GIVE. We -- our content -- is what makes this site. So, I decided to stop being overcome by inhibitions, and just give to my heart's content (no pun intended).
There are those who have taken notice, and again, I am grateful for that 🙏
Something about this period of blessings really made something connect for me. I have acknowledged that someone cannot win ALL of the time, but the human part of me still felt as if I was being punished for something when I wasn't. I felt like I had control over the situation: I was obviously doing something wrong, and needed to figure out what could make it right.
It never truly sank into my head that when it isn't the right time, regardless of what I did, nothing can happen. It's reminiscent of a locked door; no amount of struggling would change the fact that I didn't have the key...
I AM learning to go with the flow. I am truly realizing what little control -- what little say -- I have in life. There is no point in stressing about these kinds of things. I have my family, I have my health, but most importantly, I have faith that someone will continue to keep us safe ❤️
