So yesterday, I went to the supermarket to pick up gel because today, Monday, is my seminar defense and you know how you want your edges to at least respect you on a big day. While wandering through the aisles, I stumbled on one of those scales sitting near the corner, you know the type they just keep around for people to climb on casually to check their fate. Out of curiosity (and maybe boredom), I stepped on it.
The number staring back at me made me blink twice. I had lost weight. Not visible weight but the numbers had gone significantly down and it’s not the “I’ve been consistent at the gym” kind of weight loss. More like the “life has been tossing me around” kind of weight loss. And then it hit me. Of course I had.
Ever since the date for my defense was released, that is after so many reschedulings, I’ve been walking around with anxiety strapped to my back like a backpack. Add to that the mini heart attack my aunt gave me when she called my mom to announce I was pregnant (all because of one silly WhatsApp joke about cravings). Well long story short on that topic, I wasn’t pregnant. She almost made me doubt myself, checking the mirror more times than normal, looking out for some kind of body changes. Uggh. Well I was just stressed, anxious and apparently burning calories without trying. Even the doctor we saw confirmed it.
That aside, some of the people I told probably think it’s a “win.” I guess it’s because they’ve been trying to lose a few pounds but honestly? Losing weight like this is no win. It’s just proof of how much worry my mind has been chewing on. Anxiety is not a diet plan, and stress shouldn’t be a personal trainer.
At the point you’re reading this, I’ll probably be standing in front of my panelists, convincing them that I actually understand my seminar paper and that I did the work myself because they seem to doubt our capabilities a lot these days while also, praying my voice doesn’t betray my nerves.
So yeah, I lost weight without trying. But I don’t recommend it. Not this way. Health is not about the number on a scale, it’s about peace of mind, laughter you don’t have to second-guess and being present in your own body.
If life ever trims you down, let it be from joy and purpose, not panic and panic-induced skipped meals. Because trust me, the scale doesn’t clap for your battles, all it does is spit out numbers. And those numbers never really tell the full story.
Do have the most beautiful week ahead🌸
