The other day I posted a frankly ridiculous story about a job-quitting company in Japan contacting another job-quitting company about one of their employees wanting to quit. If you find that sentence confusing, go read the story.

Today I have another ridiculous story.

^{via ChatGPT}

An Australian man was arrested in Japan for breaking and entering and threatening the elderly resident of the house. At least that was all we knew at the time of arrest. Unfortunately it's not an uncommon thing here. Foreigners do disappointingly turn to crime more often than one might hope. Usually the foreigners in question are not white guys from Oz, but still it wasn't an exceptional story in and of itself. But then it went to trial and got crazy.

The elderly man claimed a pretty typical story. He was relaxing at home when this hairy barbarian broke in through the window and shouted Gōtō da! (“This is a robbery!”) and Kin wa doko da?! (“Where is the money?!”). The two fought and the Australian hit him on the head with a spade and then ran away.

So a failed robbery attempt. Or maybe an attempted burglary that turned into a failed robbery. Either way, I suppose.

Where things get interesting is the other side. The Australian claimed that he was walking by the house when he smelled gas. Alarmed, he climbed to a nearby window and yelled in English to the resident "Go to a door" and "Can you walk?"

I suppose "Go to a door" and "Gōtō da" do sound somewhat similar. As do "Can you walk" and "Kin wa doko da", although less so. But this very convenient explanation of an innocent misunderstanding doesn't do much to explain the resulting fight. I suppose the fight was from elderly man being confused due to gas exposure and the Aussie trying to save the unwilling man. Or something.

What a silly story. You can't make this stuff up.

Anyway, go read it here.

[By the way, did ChatGPT just nail that image or what?]

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David LaSpina is an American photographer and translator lost in Japan, trying to capture the beauty of this country one photo at a time and searching for the perfect haiku. He blogs here and at laspina.org. Write him on Twitter or Mastodon.