In a previous life, I used to spend a fair amount of time at what some would consider "backwoods bars. When I say previous life, I'm not talking about reincarnation or anything like that. I basically just mean before I met @mrsbozz.
I've always considered myself as somewhat of a country boy. The fact that you had to drive ten minutes to get into town when I was a kid excludes me from being labeled a "city boy". It's still a far cry from the folks who had to drive 30 to 45 minutes just to reach the nearest large city. I'm talking nothing but farm fields or woods for miles.
That's not to say that there is no civilization out where these folks live. It's not uncommon to find small crossroad towns consisting of nothing more than a post office, a church, and one bar (sometimes two if you are lucky). These are the places I spent a good deal of my late 20's.
There's something about these bars that you can't find anywhere else. They are usually pretty small, dirty, not the kind of place you want to find yourself late at night unless you are a local or you are visiting with one. In fact, I remember one bar where we would only go in the middle of the day to get a burger. After 7:00 PM, it was best to keep your distance unless you met the aforementioned criteria.
It's not that they were overtly dangerous, but people have a certain comfort zone and outsiders aren't usually welcome in that comfort zone if you know what I mean. Plus, when you mix alcohol with strong folks who labored on the farm all week, fights are bound to happen.
Another thing you can always find at most of these bars is a jukebox, and whether it is old school or they have entered the 21st century with a digital jukebox, you will likely always find the same songs in most every bar.
In case you haven't guessed, the theme for this weeks #threetunetuesday sponsored by @ablaze is Backwoods Bar Songs. I could have went the easy route and picked some of the obvious ones like Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places", David Allen Coe's "You Never Even Called Me By My Name", or Hank Jr.s "Family Traditions". All three of those songs are sure to get the whole bar singing along.
Instead, I am leaning into some of the more obscure old school country songs that are favorites of both mine and every backwoods bar across the country.
"I'm Gonna Hire a Wino" by David Frizzell is a fun song about a man who heads out to the bar every Friday night after he gets out of work. His wife gets sick of it and exclaims that she is "gonna hire a wino to decorate our home". The rest of the song is a fun story about all the changes she is going to make to keep her wayward husband from going out on the town.
Unless you are really into classic country music, most of the artists I am going to cover today are probably pretty new to you. David Frizzell actually used to collaborate a lot with a singer named Shelly West back in the day. I'll actually give you a bit of homework should you be so inclined. Check out the song "Jose Cuervo" by Shelly West. It's another fun backwoods bar song that usually gets everyone singing along.
Somewhere in the vein of Conway Twitty's "Tight Fitting Jeans" comes another song from Mel McDaniel called "Baby's Got Her Bluejeans On". This is another fun song that just has a good beat to it and a nice vibe. I doubt you would hear a song like this on the radio these days. It would likely get cancelled for obvious reasons, but in a backwoods bar, you would probably have pretty much every lady in the place dancing around proudly showing off their bluejeans.
Just remember, if you aren't a local, don't get caught looking, you might find yourself in the middle of a field somewhere the next morning!
Finally, I'm going to leave you with this even lesser known song by similarly lesser known Johnny Russell. "Rednecks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer". This song is probably about the most accurate description I can think of when it comes to your typical backwoods bar. I remember when I first started drinking, I didn't really care for beer. I had tried a Rolling Rock and decided it tasted like rotten fruit, so for about two or three years I stuck to just drinking liquor.
Then, one day I decided to give beer another shot and I was hooked (not in a bad way). While Pabst Blue Ribbon beer was considered a lower quality beer back in the day, it quickly became one of my favorites. You could find it at pretty much any backwoods bar, and if you found it in the store you could usually get a 30 pack for less than $10.
Eventually, PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) became more of a "Yuppie Beer", and Busch Light kind of took the place of PBR at most backwoods bars. I still enjoy it though and if you can get it on tap it is absolutely delicious. I'm actually proud to be able to say that I liked PBR before it was cool.
So there you go, those are my three backwoods bar songs for #threetunetuesday.
