Last week I made two different posts that pointed towards placing people on very high pedestals but one question I failed to answer was; what if these people you place in such heights are knowingly exploiting you because they know how much you revere them? Then what. Does the respect you have for them just varnish or you cling onto them, hoping they would change some time, someday?
Without a doubt, many people who are placed in a position of power tend to abuse certain privileges and the excuse is usually; I can do whatever the heck I want because I have certain privileges and immunity. And so, over and over again, they abuse these privileges but one thing they fail to recognize is that people are watching and although these people may act like it, they are not so naive.
Some years ago, I was introduced to a fresh graduate from the department of Psychology and from the very first conversation we had, I knew this young man was one to always apply what he was taught. I have no problem with people applying what they spent years in the university studying but there are always going to be two sets of such people; those who apply their knowledge for the good of the whole and those with negative agendas.
It pains me to see people lie over and over again, even when their lies have been discovered, just so they can maintain a saintly look in public.
This psychology graduate in question was excellent with words. He could talk to a person who's struggling to make ends meet and somehow collect money from the person. He could talk one into joining resources with him to startup a business which he knows very well will crumble but not give a hoff about anyone's emotions.
On a few occasions, some of these tactics were tried on me but seeing that he led with the fact that he was fresh out of the “psychology pot”, made me take every single thing he said with a pinch of salt, rightly so. After he noticed that I do not break easily, he gave up and went on to another prey, a very close friend of mine and his too. This friend was receptive, and it all went down from there.
The scenario where “you give them an inch and they'll take a mile” played out. Every single day, demands were made with various excuses and each time, the friend would do all he could to make this mutual friend of ours, comfortable. Even when he knew he was being exploited by the psychology graduate, he still met the demands just because he respects and loves this guy to a default.
To what end?
It finally dawned on my friend that he was neck deep into this mess when the psychology graduate asked him time and again to go against his morals and values and do something he wasn't comfortable doing. When this friend said no, he used all forms of manipulation and even went ahead to not just say that this friend was an enemy of progress but also threatened suicide if this friend didn't “help” him.
Naturally, I got so mad watching this from a distance but if any of my friends aren't vocal about what they're going through or if they do not ask for my opinion, I sit back and just watch. This was what I did for months until my advice was sought. The first thing I made clear was the fact that this was full-blown manipulation and in case my friend didn't notice, this psychology graduate was excellent at it. Also there is no constitution in the world that says “because you respect a person, you're automatically responsible for them”. The best one can do as a friend is guide you on the right path and if with the feet that the Lord gave to you, you choose to stray from that path again and again, then by all means, stray.
The second verse of the song “Somebody I Used to Know” by Gotye featuring Kimbra tells a similar tale. I guess people do not usually understand the full weight of what they're put through until they break free.
Ps: I see Hive as a digital diary and tend to write down most of my thoughts here. I wrote everything down as they came so I hope no one gets confused reading this.
