When Friendship Fades

in HiveGhana13 days ago

There are some people we meet in life who become more than just friends. They leave us with lasting memories. For others, the reverse is the case. Not everyone we meet is meant to stay in our lives for long, some are only around for a season and for their own benefit. Let me share my experience with you.

When I gained admission into the university, the whole registration process was quite stressful and frustrating. There were so many steps to follow, and the long queues didn’t make things any easier. One particular day , we had been standing in a very long queue that seemed to be moving at a snail’s pace. It felt like we had been there forever.

While we were waiting, a group of guys suddenly came and started shunting the line, this caused a serious commotion. People started shouting, arguing, and even pushing each other, all in an attempt to hold their spot in the queue. You know that kind of struggle where everyone is trying not to be pushed aside or cheated?

As we were struggling , someone tapped me politely and asked if she could stay in front of me. She explained how she was pushed out of her spot on the queue . I agreed to let her in, and as we stood together, we started talking to pass the time. That was when I found out she was my coursemate. From that moment on, we did the rest of the registration process together. That random and stressful day turned into the beginning of a meaningful friendship.

My elder sister was in her 300 level when I gained admission, so I stayed with her off-campus. My friend had accommodation issues at the time, so I spoke to my sister about it, and we agreed to let her stay with us in our apartment until she could sort things out. That made our friendship even stronger.

We even kind of looked alike and often wore matching outfits to school. Most of our coursemates thought we were sisters because we started registration together and were living in the same apartment. She ended up staying with us for a whole semester, and honestly, I didn’t mind at all. I actually wanted her to stay with us until we graduated.

When we resumed for the second semester, my friend told me that she seriously wanted to move out of our apartment. She said she had saved enough money to take care of her own accommodation. I didn’t want her to leave, and neither did my sister, but she insisted.

So, we started searching for an apartment for her, and eventually, we found one. I was even the one who cleaned the room and helped her move some of her things into the new place. She left a few of her belongings behind, saying she would still stay with us for a few more days before moving in completely.

One day, while we were in class, she told me she needed to leave early because she had something urgent to attend to. After lectures, I went back to our apartment, but she wasn’t there. I waited all evening, but she still didn’t return. Her phone number wasn’t going through, and I didn’t know her to have any other friends she could be with. My sister and I were so worried ,we stayed awake all through the night, waiting for my friend to return.

Guess what! The next day, I was shocked to see my friend in class. When I asked her what had happened, she casually said she was at her apartment. I was like, “Why didn’t you inform us? We were so worried!”

She simply replied that she didn’t see the need to and that we weren’t her parents. She said she was now on her own, have her own apartment, and could choose where to spend the night.

I didn’t take her response personally, but when she started mingling with other people and sidelining me, I felt used and dumped. It felt like she had only been my friend because she needed help with accommodation and once that was sorted out, she distanced herself from me.

We used to go to fellowship together, but she stopped. In fact, she accomadated one guy she met online. When I confronted her about it, she took it personally and that was when I decided to stay in my own lane.

I tried not to make the rift between us obvious because most of our coursemates admired our friendship. But it wasn't possible, i was so scared for her then because of that guy, she stopped attending lectures,he was practically controlling her, she didn't even have friends because they were living together like couples.

That was how our friendship ended. After our graduation, she sent me a text message to appreciate me for looking out for her while we were in school. But the friendship never truly came back after that.

Image is mine

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Omo, that your friend did not try, she could have at least informed you of her move, some friendships aren't just meant to last and it's better to let them go.

Yes but she felt telling me or my elder sister wasn't necessary

I felt so touched reading this but that is part of what we humans experience in life.

It is what it is

I don't know about you, but my tumultuous upbringing caused me to form friendships with people, which, in my heart, went above and beyond friendship. Most of us having come from broken homes, we found comfort in each other. This is a trait I carried long into adulthood and it's made it particularly difficult to let people go and accept that our paths, although crossed for a deep and meaningful time, have now reached a fork or separation which we need to explore on our own.

Yeah I understand your point but what if the person doesn't want to hang around you anymore or even wants to be friends with you. I don't like forcing myself on people who don't care or want me

its so hard when someone we care about emotionally cuts us off :( I haven't heard from my sister in over two years.

Hmmm it really hurts

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a few friends that are like family to me too. To me, and the chaotic way I've grown up, I don't see blood relations as the definition of family. I see people who have gone the extra mile in my darkest and brightest hours as family. The loss of a friendship can be absolutely devastating.
!Luv
!Lady
!Hug

Yes it is. Thank you for your encouragement

Big !hugs

it's a pleasure!

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Thank you, I appreciate 🙏

much love and prayers to you <3