How do I make myself the best partner for my significant other.
In making ones self the best partner for their significant other, one need to first do their due diligence in ensuring the true position of the relationship, else they risk being exploited. Once there's exploitation in the relationship, frustration follows and one cannot be the best to their significant other when they are frustrated.
We should at all times evaluate our relationships by having set standards and subsequently ask ourselves, "are these standards being met by my significant other?". These evaluation is very important so we do not end up sacrificing alot for who is not interested in it, as doing the right thing for the wrong person will leave you feeling like you are not doing enough.
A relationship where two people are actively and genuinely involved will converge at the middle. The efforts and intentions will be mutual and when that has been established, there will be no room for questions and there will be no doubts. That's why you see someone can comfortably date for ten years and more without cause for alarm which eventually pays off when they both decide we are ready to get married. Nobody is using the other and no one is being taken advantage of.
You know, questions and doubts starts coming in a relationship when one person has abandoned ship or left the relationship unannounced and the other is doing the dating or relationship alone which becomes a load too heavy for the heart to carry.
The moment you find yourself questioning your position or doubting the relationship, RUN!
Now back to the prompt, HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF THE BEST PARTNER FOR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER
In making myself a better partner, like I said earlier, I should have established the position of the relationship and confirmed that the ship is being sailed by the both of us and not just me. Then I go ahead to lay down my Terms and Conditions, what I expect from my partner and how I want to be treated. It is going to be an interactive section whereby my partner gets to decide if he will be honoring the terms and conditions or if he can meet up with a selected few. There will also be an opportunity for my potential partner to tell me his expectations and it will be left for me to wholeheartedly accept them or tell him the one that I cannot do as well.
After communicating our expectations, our short comings and evaluating our lapses, we then have a better understanding of ourselves, this will now lead to compromise. Compromise will be based on what is most important to the both of us?
The Terms and Conditions that won't be met is it of importance? can we find a way around it? otherwise let's not even start the relationship to fail because I cannot be the best partner to my significant other if I have no knowledge of his interest.
People wants to feel safe, secured and appreciated, that's a love language for many. After the preliminary stage of Terms and Conditions, comes the relationship proper. At all times I try to be my partner's peace, Know when to speak and when not to speak, know when to quarrel and when to overlook certain things. I try to be supportive and proactive in his decision making process that's if he carries me along, otherwise I won't be intrusive as in being a better partner I need to take cognisance of my partners privacy.
Being a better partner is not in saying I love you all the time or saying it right back. It is in the sacrifices one put in the relationship, tolerance and the mentality of making the relationship work against all odds.
We each have our individual way of proving ourselves in our relationships, some use money, others give attention, a genuine concern of care and affection, gifting, being available at a time of need etc... For me it's my presence, attention, being available at a time of need, gifting and a genuine concern of care and affection. I can be as supportive as it gets so long it does not involve money 🙄 because I nor sabi give person money.
So hivers, that's my own little way of being and doing better for my partner's peace of mind.
It's February our Love month and no better time for the self evaluating question "How do I become the best partner to my significant other?" I would love to read from you 🙂.