I’ve heard a couple of people say people of this century aren’t scared of anything and I totally agree from the little I’ve seen. I’ve had the opportunity to lead for a number of times in different organizations but I want to talk about the one I feel is very personal so let’s shift to family. Often times when people talk about leadership, they forget about parents, older siblings, older cousins and older family relatives. Meanwhile they also are somehow leaders leading their younger ones.
So every vacation, my little cousin comes to our house for a staycation. It’s actually a tradition in my family where you have to choose a relative to go to every school vacation till you complete school.
Anytime this cousin of mine comes over, he comes with a lot of story books but never touches them till he leaves. And for some reason, I’ve realized he never listens when my mom tells him to do anything. Actually, when he comes over , he’s like a saint in first few days but afterwards, everything just changes.
And guess what? He’s just 13 years old. I used to say I was stubborn when I was a kid but I’ve never seen his type. I realized my mom was just trying to raise him like she did with us but the only problem was that he wasn’t even listening to her. She did a lot of things: tried to reward him, practiced the withdrawal method and all, nothing was working.
So we called his dad to ask why he was like that and he specifically told my mom not to go easy on him because these kids of today fear nothing. The moment I heard that, I laughed and really wasn’t surprised because we had tried everything possible to get him to do the right things.
We started being very strict on him. Even my brothers stopped playing video games with him. They were days I told my mom to just allow him to play and she said no. The interesting part is how he gradually changed for the better. He started washing his own plates after eating, began reading his book everyday and did all the other things we’ve been telling him to do.
A lot of people might be quick to disagree with me but in this 21st century, people are not so different from this little cousin of mine. Gone are the days when people would sit when you ask them to sit.
Sometimes when I hear the things people say, I ask myself how they could even think of that. These are not the kind of people you have to lead with the soft type of leadership because if you allow them to pluck a leaf, they’ll cut your whole tree.
I mean it’s good to know when to bring in compassion and all the emotions as a leader but on a regular basis, you have to bring out that tough skin if you want to be a 21st century leader. If not, these people will eat you alive.
Images are mine