It was during my OND program days and life was not exactly smiling at me, you know exams were around the corner, I had two kids to take care of, and somehow, I still had to pretend like everything was under control.
So that morning in class as I was scribbling notes, mind already divided between courses and what I would cook for dinner with the little money I had left, My classmate, Tife, looked at me and said,
“Treasure, why you dey always carry life for head? Relax nau, Na exam, no be war.”
I paused, raised my eyes from the notebook, and smiled weakly, but Inside, I wanted to tell her how hard it really was, but all I managed to say was,
“Tife, if you fit walk even half a mile in my shoes, you go understand.”
She laughed , thinking I was joking , but I was not.
Later that day, after my lectures, I rushed home , the kids were already waiting for me, excited, jumping around, and as i dropped my bag and sat down , but my daughter noticed my tired face.
“Mummy, are you tired?” she asked softly, bending her head a bit.
I managed and forced a smile , pulled her close, and rubbed her hair.
“No baby, your mummy is strong.”
But deep down, I was not strong at all, my strength was finished, but I had no choice I had to keep going, I still had to open my marketing textbook later that night, even when my body was crying for rest.
As I cooked, my mind wandered , people saw me every day and thought I had things figured out, they saw me in class, saw me writing on Hive, saw me smiling, and they assumed I was okay, but nobody knew the nights I cried silently, or the times I would skip meals so my kids could eat.
A few days later, I was sitting outside with my friend Ifeoma, she looked at me and sighed.
“Treasure, you too dey think, just rest and leave everything for God.”
I laughed, shaking my head.
“My sister, even God dey expect me to use my hands small, i no fit just sit down.”
She nodded, but I knew she still did not fully understand , and see honestly, how could she? unless you wore my shoes, walked my path, and felt my weight, you would never really get it at all.
So that is why I do not get angry anymore when people make careless comments, I just smile and move on, because truly, it is easy to talk when you have never carried the kind of load someone else is carrying.
So when I say, walk a mile in my shoes, I mean really live my days , balancing exams, kids, survival, and dreams, and trust me, these shoes? They are not for the faint hearted.
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