Hello @borderline.babe,

It's obvious you worked on this story, and you were successful in building mood and tension. However, there are some issues with the story that prevent us from curating it.

For one thing, we don't accept chapters, or serials. We only accept short stories that are complete in themselves, in one writing.

Another issue is violence. While you don't go there yet, it seems the story is rushing headlong to a violent scene. Graphic violence is not accepted in the community, especially violence against women and children.

Also, there is a line in the story that some might find offensive (this reader did):

The two girls were both young, inexperienced, and it showed with the hiccups that came after each sip. They were like innocent lambs being prepared for the slaughter, and this idea of their corruption made the boys howl with laughter.

Think of this community as PG rated when you write for us. Write only what you think might be appropriate for your grandmother, or your niece and nephew.

Thank you for thinking of us when you write. You have a knack for writing. It's important that you choose the appropriate community when you publish.