From the very first time and moment I scrolled through Peter's media I knew this wasn't the looks I wanted to settle for.
I know people have their taste and spec when it comes to choosing a life partner, and other qualities too.
But when it comes to me both personality and looks stand out for me, I can't go after just looks, neither can I go after just personality.
So though Peter's look wasn't really my taste, (I'm sorry to mention), but I felt there could be something more than just his not-so-good looks, I wanted to give him that benefit of doubt, so I opted to meet this person that was busy chatting with me and disturbing me for a date with him.
On finally meeting Peter, I kinda fell for what seemed like a good personality; what I thought was special not knowing the implications that came with it.
No, it definitely wasn't love at first sight cause he appeared quite homely.
I only liked how he treated me on our first date and I felt I should get to know if there was more to what I saw that day.
Fast forward to when he asked me out and I accepted that proposal, the first few weeks and months seemed beautiful until it became a struggle.
I was slowly discovering those traits in him I couldn't live with or keep up with, so many things I shouldn't ignore or overlook if I wanted a long term thing with him.
I addressed them, talked about them with him but there really wasn't much change and I also discovered there were things he also required of me too which I couldn't adjust or compromise.
So in the long run, I accepted the fact that we weren't meant to be, we both had our individual values that didn't align and I couldn't just continue living in silence and pretending like I loved him when I really wasn't feeling a thing and everyday was just a constant struggle and battle to do the right thing with him.
It wasn't so bad like I might make it sound but the constant fights and arguments over trivial things just wasn't adding up for me and I couldn't keep tabs on them any longer.
When I realized this wasn't the kind of life or relationship I wanted, I walked away, I decided to call it off before it was too late.
Photo Credit: This was captured by me, from my garden
Yes! We've come to the answer now, Peter was the boyfriend I wish I never had, the relationship barely lasted for 3 months and walking away was the best decision I made for myself, my sanity and my well being and I've been living my best life since the day I walked out of it.
Reasons for the breakup and regret? I will just say we weren't compatible or meant for each other. There were certain characters he exhibited that I couldn't settle for and to be honest, loving him or trying to love him was a daily struggle for me, and the nagging about not acting like his girlfriend was becoming too much and overwhelming, like I was literally doing everything wrong, so we had to part ways.
And for the second part? I wished I was with another friend I've liked for awhile before Peter came along, but I don't wish that now anymore.
I am okay with the way things turned out, I am happy now, I am in a much better place and with someone I love so much.
